


Surprisingly Human

by ArkosKnight



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Both are blind, Drama, Erza Wisens Up, Erza wants to dance, F/M, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Gray Misunderstands a Lot of Things, Gray has game but doesn't know it, Grayza - Freeform, Lack of Communication, Lemons Ensue, One-Sided Gray/Juvia (mentioned), Post-Series, Ratings Vary: 1(T) 2(T) 3(T) 4(E) 5(M), Romance, Silver's backfired magic, Woman on Top
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-06-29 21:48:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15737982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArkosKnight/pseuds/ArkosKnight
Summary: When they met, Gray and Erza were angry, broken children, but they have since grown into their respective roles as members of the Fairy Tail Guild. Team Natsu served as a second chance for them to connect, and not even they could’ve guessed the path this would set them on.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 1: Rated Teen for mentions of childhood slavery
> 
> Hello, and happy Grayza week! I'm new to the fandom and I've had a soft spot for this pairing since the beginning of the series. I figured there would be no better time to start this story, so here it is!
> 
> This story will be in three parts. The first will be five chapters and at present the second and third will each be six. The first two parts are just about complete, the third part far less so. Part 1, at least, will be up within the week. Because ratings will change by chapter, they’ll be given at the beginning of each chapter as well as in the tags, ranging from teen to explicit.
> 
> All but the first three chapters will occur after the end of the series. Most, but not all, will be from the perspective of either Gray or Erza. This first chapter happens near the beginning of the series, after the events on Galuna Island but before the events of the Tower of Heaven. It serves mostly as a prologue to show a little bit of dynamic and where the characters are at. The next chapter is one of my favorites.
> 
> This is my first go at a straight up drama and I’d love to hear what people think, so please feel free to drop a comment to let me know.

The moment Erza Scarlet, Queen of the Fairies and the Great Titania of Fairy Tail, had been mentioned, Lucy had held this image in her mind of a titan among humans. Their first mission together had only further fed this idea. Erza, while… a little strange, had defeated nearly the entire Eisenwald Guild single-handedly, and then she’d literally flown off into battle against the goliath demon, Lullaby. To say Lucy was awed by the guild’s strongest female member was laughable because Erza was beyond ‘admirable’. She was in her own league, a true Titan among Humans if she’d ever heard of one, leaps and bounds above the mere mortals she was surrounded by--that she was among the weakest of their strongest mages was difficult to fathom.

Then Gray had defied her orders to abandon their mission and to leave Galuna Island, and Lucy saw something change. When, upon seeing her nonchalance in regards to the troubles of the island’s villagers, Gray had in a fit of anger and disgust claimed that Erza sickened him. Lucy had seen the woman’s fingers tighten around the hilt of the sword in her hand, and her brow had twitched. His words had hurt her, and this had initially surprised Lucy because the woman had seemed so unflappable before that point. All she knew was that, however she tried to hide it, Erza Scarlet, the Great Titania who was in a league of her own, cared what Gray Fullbuster, Fairy Tail’s own stripping pariah, thought of her.

Why was that?

It would be several months before she learned, months before Erza confessed to her that she and Gray used to be something like friends in their younger days. It was a curious and eye-opening realization.

But, perhaps, Lucy thought all at once, there was more human in this particular titan than most realized.

* * *

 

Somewhere along the way, he’d forgotten they used to be friends--or at least as close to friends as two socially awkward, irreparably damaged, headstrong children _could_ be. They hadn’t exactly hung out or talked much or even gotten along most of the time. But, sometimes, between berating him for any of his stupid stunts or his fights with Natsu and beating him to a pulp whenever he had the gall to challenge her, Erza would give him a polite smile and he wouldn’t shout at her in challenge. Sometimes he would even smile back--or at least, you know, stop frowning. Cordial. At times not making the other’s day any worse. It was as close to friendship as he’d even been capable in those days, and Gray suspected such was the same for her.

Then Erza had grown into her role as the great Titania of Fairy Tail, and she wasn’t around much anymore. The only times Gray really saw her were when she returned to give members of the Guild harsh words of reprimand for whatever mayhem they’d caused in her absence. In the simplest terms, they’d drifted from whatever actual friendship may have grown between them.

All at once, he regretted it because, if they _were_ friends, perhaps she would’ve come to him about it rather than bottling it up with everything else. Erza had lingered in the guild hall to partake in the festivities, putting up a well constructed front that said this week had been like any other. But he could see she wasn’t alright. He saw it in the stiffness around her eyes and the subtle tightness of her smile that no one else seemed to notice. She stayed just long enough that no one would suspect anything was the matter, and then she finally stood to excuse herself.

Or rather, _almost_ no one suspected anything.

Gray’s eyes had periodically strayed to her throughout the night, and he knew by the subtle twitch in her brow at times when he’d looked that his staring hadn’t gone unnoticed by her. Perhaps that was another reason she wanted to leave, to escape his scrutiny, but the thought was such a silly one that Gray quickly dismissed it; she’d never kept her mind about such things before. If anything, she just didn’t want him to confront her about anything in front of the entire guild, to draw attention to her insecurities where everyone could see. He understood this, and it was why he’d kept his distance all night; he wasn’t out to upset her like that because that was against his entire intention.

Gray waited for only a few moments before he followed her in departure. He slipped out silently as Natsu began to regale everyone with another story of his victorious battles during their most recent mission, and nobody noticed him. It was by design. He’d been moving closer to the edge of the crowd all night in preparation of this moment, and his getaway went off without a hitch.

The sun was very nearly set as he stepped out of the Guild Hall. He knew where Erza was going, but he also knew she wouldn’t take side streets to get there, however quicker and less populated they may be. Fairy Hills may not be far, but the great Titania would rather put up a front around town, garnering confidence with her lie of calm, than hasten her short journey along to its end. It was why Gray managed to catch up with her after her head start. He had no qualms in using the alleyways--some had even come to expect the streaker of Fairy Tail to travel via side passages--or ignoring the folks who call out to him in greeting. He’d never been very sociable, and everyone knew it. It was just a very ‘Gray’ thing for him to do.

Once he did catch up to Erza, he kept his distance, knowing she would appreciate it just as little if he confronted her in front of the townsfolk as she would’ve their guildmates. He lingered half a block behind as she conversed amiably with several civilians along her way to the guild’s female dorm, and he could see by the set of her shoulders that her facade was beginning to wear on her.

Nearly the instant she turned onto a vacant street, not far from her destination but too far to make it with her composure slipping, she all but hastened into the first alley she came to. Gray didn’t see her steady herself on the wall in that alley, trembling for the effort of containing everything she was feeling, but he did hear the crack of it when she punched that wall. He didn’t hurry--he knew she hadn’t hurt herself--because he understood the issue with trying to confront this particular woman during the apex of any of her frustration. Right now, she was frustrated by her own weakness, and he gave her space for a moment, stopped just outside the alley, to let her try and deal with it.

But, of course, she hadn’t attained all of her impressive titles for nothing.

“Why did you follow me?” she asked, her low voice a clear warning which he didn’t take to heart.

“You know why, Erza,” Gray said as he stepped out from around the corner and into her view--had she been looking in his direction, that is, he would be in her view.

But, her head was dipped low, almost touching her brow to the wall, and he thought it an almost laughable attempt when she said, “I’m fine.”

He looked to the cracked in the wall, formed around her hand which was still in the epicenter of the damage.

“Clearly.” His tone was dry and the epitome of sarcasm.

She grimaced because she knew she’d been caught with no reasonable lies to explain her way out of it. She still didn’t look at him, kept her head bowed. He didn’t wonder why because he already knew she disliked looking others in the eye during her lowest moments, feared they’d see just how much she was hurting and hasten to cheer her up in all manner of hopeless ways.

They were the same in that regard.

But, Erza was nothing if not stubborn.

“I said I’m fine, now just-”

“Erza,” Gray interrupted, his tone stern, and she quieted, her mouth pulling into a frown of disapproval for his rudeness. “We just dismantled a slave smuggling ring which specialized in the ‘displacement’ of _orphan children_ to underground labor forces.”

Gray could still remember the look on her face when, after the team had split into pairs to search the facility, he and she had discovered a holding cell with a dozen malnourished children leg-shackled to the walls inside. There had been a few more cells with just as many children, a sight which sickened Gray even now to think of.

Erza had been _very_ quiet.

When the group had at last found him, the ringleader of the operation, the man had made the truly terrible decision to boast to the team from Fairy Tail that children who grew up in labor made for much more profitable workers. His profit margin had gone up the day he’d decided to invest in ‘unlocking the potential of future tools’. Not a mage himself, he’d then sent in his hired muscle, the rest of the mercenary mages having been lying in wait, but Erza’s sights had been on only one, even as she’d cleaved her way through scores of mercenary fodder. By the time Gray and Natsu had managed to pull Erza from the man, he’d been on death’s door--that she’d used her fists rather than any of her seemingly infinite arsenal of weapons to deliver the beating spoke that much more as to how deeply it had all impacted her. The slave lord would never walk unassisted again, they were told, and no one would weep for him.

But, Gray had never before seen Erza lose it like that.

She had apologized to the team later for her loss of composure and Natsu, Happy, and Lucy had seemed ready enough to think that the end of the matter on her word alone. Gray, however, wasn’t fooled. Mira, after all, wasn’t the only member of Fairy Tail who could have a way with words when it suited her most. She wasn’t the only charmer in the Guild and Erza, with her polished words and her masks of steely calm, had managed to fool almost everyone.

But Gray remembered the girl who had walked into the Guild years before with bandages over her eye, a sword on her back, and shackles on her wrists.

“I may not know much about what happened to you all those years ago,” he said, “but don’t take me for a fool.”

Gray was irritated by the unintended abrasiveness of his own tone, and Erza whipped around in response to it faster than he blinked, her eyes flashing dangerously.

All he saw was the tear running down her left cheek.

“Well, why do you even care?” she snapped.

Gray didn’t dignify the question with a response, just pulled his mouth into a thin, stern line and stared at her. Erza realised quickly herself what a ridiculous question it was because she turned away, having the presence of mind to be embarrassed by her own folly since there was absolutely no reason he wouldn’t care. But, then she pushed from the wall and turned to walk away. She was clearly done with the conversation, but he was just getting started.

“Erza,” he said again, sounding more forceful than he could ever remember being with a woman who could surely crush him flat as an afterthought.

Gray was more than a little surprised when she actually stopped upon his unspoken demand that she listen, but that didn’t mean he was going to waste the opportunity. He stepped into the alley and only stopped when he was but a few paced from her. He had to stop himself from getting closer, fighting an instinct to reach out, because Erza had clenched her fists upon his approach and turned her face away from him as he neared, an action meant to keep him from seeing her face. He didn’t want to overstep and he hated that he may be pushing too hard into a subject which cut so deeply and he hoped she was in a mood to actually hear what he had to say. That she hadn’t left was a good sign for this regardless of her defensive stance, but the urge to reach out for her was one he continued to struggle with.

“You always do this,” Gray began, tucking his hands into the pockets of his slacks to keep them in check because they might just act on their own with this proximity to her. “You just push us all away, closing yourself up because you think you need to hold yourself to some higher standard. Symbols can’t let themselves be broken, I suppose you’d say. But, Erza, you can’t keep doing this.”

Erza’s response was, naturally, an obstinate one, always so eager as she was to hide her pain from the world. This, as it turned out, was just the problem he was getting at.

“Give me one good reason why not,” she all but growled at him.

Yet, for a brief moment, despite her gruff tone and the subtle hint of a threat, Gray thought this might be an earnest request from her. There was a vulnerable undercurrent to her words, one he very nearly missed, that said she was really just looking for an excuse. Any reason to, for once in so very long, be anything other than the unshakeable Titania of Fairy Tail, even for just a short while. He imagined the weight of it could be unbearable sometimes…

Gray had a very narrow window of opportunity here, so he consciously calmed his tone. He pondered for a moment over what he should say, bouncing from dipping into the human psyche to simply reiterating his last comment with ‘because you can’t’. But neither, he ultimately decided, would do.

In the end, the answer seemed rather obvious to him, and he took a step closer and lowered his voice before he said, “Because I won’t let you.”

And it was one of the most earnest things he’d ever said. If he could help it, he wouldn’t let her drown under that weight she’d put on herself.

Erza dipped her head forward, and she drew in a few ragged breaths before her shoulders sagged just a little. Her breathing steadied once more, and her fists loosened, and it was a relief because Gray knew he’d said just what she had needed to hear, that she had people who cared about her enough that she didn’t have to keep her walls up all the time.

“I once made a promise to myself,” he continued, taking this chance while those steel walls of hers were finally down to reach out, “that I would do everything I could to keep you from ever crying again.” More hesitantly, a confession he hadn’t actually meant to give, he added a softer, “Because I hate it when you cry.”

He didn’t know what her reaction to this admission was because Erza was still facing away from him. Part of him was afraid because hidden in those words was all of the things he was starting to realize he felt for her, things he was only just beginning to be honest with himself about. Gray pushed on, eager not to let her dwell on it.

“...But that was a selfish promise I made because I hate to see you hurting,” he said, and perhaps she would think with this that he meant this as a friend. He did, but that ‘something new’ lingered in the back of his mind and reminded him that it was different too. “I’ve learned that sometimes you _have_ to hurt, so, if I could, I think I’d change that promise to this…”

It was an ultimately conscious action when Gray finally reached out to rest his hand on her arm, over that mark that bound them and their guildmates together, and he felt Erza go tense for just a moment and thought he’d overstepped, that the instinct to hold back had been the right one.

But, she didn’t pull away, so he took a chance and let his hand linger there when he vowed to her, “You’ll never have to cry alone.”

Erza’s shoulders began to shake just noticeably after this as she clenched her fists again, and then, at last, she turned. She didn’t look him in the eye, kept her head low as if still ashamed, and Gray felt a pang in his chest--had he helped turn her into this person who couldn’t accept her own pain? He expected anger from her, quite honestly, because Erza had a tendency to react violently when confronted with her own weakness. But, instead, she reached out for him, grasping his sleeve as her legs became unsteady, and Gray reached out in alarm with both hands to help brace her. She leaned into him and then, before he truly realized what had happened, she’d pulled herself to his chest.

She didn’t sob, but she was shaking, and he could see her grimacing against his shoulder with her head held low in an attempt to conceal her eyes behind a curtain of red hair, clearly still trying to resist this weaker side of herself.

And then she said against his chest, so softly that he almost didn’t hear, “I’m tired, Gray…” and it almost broke him. “I’m _so_ tired…”

It was a completely intuitive gesture of comfort when he wrapped his arms around her, but Gray didn’t regret it, especially when she held onto him a little tighter in turn. He swallowed thickly, because of the lump of emotion in his throat but also because he now found himself holding a woman he cared for more than he should.

“I know everyone has this image of you. The great Titania Erza, Queen of Fairies--and you feel like you have to live up to that all the time. But, Erza…” When he breathing in, Gray inhaled the floral scent of her shampoo, and he had to take a moment to steady himself. When he spoke again, the quietness of his tone wasn’t intentional. “You deserve to be human too.”

Some things took longer to heal than others. Lost years, how things could have been, your own mistakes which may have changed everything for the worse... It all had a way of creeping back up on a person even years later.

Gray had his own personal experience in this.

Erza sobbed softly, just once. Her shoulders shook heavily with the motion and she closed tight the fingers of the hand she’d since moved to the space between his shoulder and his neck to take hold of his jacket there. At least, he thought, there was absolutely no way he could subconsciously strip himself of the article of clothing now, not with the grip she had on it.

Yet, nothing surprised him more than when Erza’s armor began to glow, bathed in a familiar golden light. And as it faded away, Gray found his fingers sinking through the cold, hard steel plating until his hands laid flat on the soft fabric of a shirt. He didn’t need to look to know she’d requipped off her armor, and yet he did so all the same because the fact was such a sudden and unexpected one that he had to make sure.

He felt his heart quiver with a want which he suppressed with malicious cruelty as her nose accidentally graze his neck when she closed the distance between them which had been created by her armor. Erza’s cries softened as she clung to him, grieving for whatever she’d been through, for whatever or whomever she’d lost.

Gray had realized long ago that he was in trouble. This woman, the strong and fiercely loyal Queen of Faries, had wormed her way into his angry, bitter heart. Ever since that day years ago when he had realized just how human this Titan was, she had gained a power over him. And now it seemed he was setting himself up for heartache. There would’ve been nothing wrong with this change if it wasn’t for the simple fact that she was Erza. Distant was her default setting. It wouldn’t change easily, and beyond that she probably shouldn’t stoop to the level of a strange, subconsciously self-stripping ice mage like him.

All of this, however, could wait for another day. He was nothing if not an expert in compartmentalization, and he knew this probably made him the biggest hypocrite in Magnolia since he was currently telling Erza to do the exact opposite. This wasn’t about him, though, so he tabled the thought for now and just held her as she grieved. He might one day mention it to her, the degree of his affection for her which had recently shifted. But, he didn’t yet have the courage to face what her answer might be. That was his own weakness.

Gray was human too, after all.

 


	2. A Shift in Dynamic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2: Rated T just to be safe
> 
> Hey again. I should just stop staring at it and post it, so here’s the next chapter. This is one of my personal favorites because I enjoyed writing the banter between them here. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Lucy was scolding Natsu now for his drastic and foolhardy plan of swallowing Echirion-infused lacrima and the familiarity of it was a comfort. It allowed Erza a moment to herself, to in her heart finally say goodbye to her friends, gone and  _ gone _ , and to  _ this place, _ home to her darkest fears and her worst memories.

It was minutes later before she finally requipped off her ceremonial armor and turned. She laughed at the antics of her still bickering, boisterous teammates and found Juvia was now, along with Happy, trying to placate a livid Lucy who looked as though she may just kill Natsu for nearly getting himself killed--the irony of that seemed lost on her. Gray was absent from this gathering and Erza turned to find him seated in the shallow end of the high tide with a wrist propped on his bent knee and his head bowed. Concerned that he may be in worse condition than she’d initially feared upon seeing him again, she made her way over to him from where she stood waist deep in the ocean.

“Are you alright, Gray?” she asked as she at last came to a stop in front of him.

He looked up and she thought she must have snapped him from some deep thoughts because he turned to glance over at the others as though just now hearing the noise they were making before he turned his attention back to her.

The words held the same kind of weight that his eyes and his small smile did when he said, “Don’t worry. I am now,” and Erza felt her cheeks flush a little for that intensity, though this reaction was surely hardly distinguishable in the pale, silver light offered by the moon.

She had to take a steadying breath before she could return the smile he was giving her and she held her hand out to help him up. Gray accepted the offer and when Erza hoisted him up she thought he must’ve been more exhausted than his alertness suggested because he took an extra step forward. At first it seemed as though it was for him to catch himself and his unexpected closeness stole the breath from her lungs for a moment for how it surprised her. But, his eyes were intense and his stance remained steady and then Erza thought that perhaps that step hadn’t been misplaced at all. And for a brief moment, as his eyes remained fixed with her own, she thought… well, she thought he might kiss her, actually. Her heart skipped a beat in surprise--and… anticipation?--at the thought as her stomach fluttered to life in a fashion that was decidedly not unpleasant.

He didn’t. Gray drew away instead, eyes still locked with hers as he released her hand. Erza wanted to ask him why, why he’d been about to do something so unanticipated when she’d never detected any hints of such desires from him before. Perhaps even more surprisingly, because the thought of kissing her friend had never occurred to her before that moment, she wanted to ask him why he’d pulled away.

She didn’t. Erza told herself it was because the others were on their way over to them--and perhaps it was Juvia’s approach which had caused Gray to pull away and Erza swallowed the sudden, foul taste of a jealousy she had no right to. She told herself it just wasn’t something they should discuss with an audience. It would undoubtedly embarrass Gray because Natsu would surely laugh and Lucy would probably gush, which would only embarrass the both of them. Juvia was actively trying to get Gray to fall for her whenever they were together and Erza couldn’t deny that they made a lot of sense together. And Juvia had been through so much. Erza would never want to hurt the girl and any unexpected moment between herself and Gray would surely only complicate what he could be building with the water mage.

In reality, it was this final thought which held Erza’s tongue because Fairy Tail’s great Titania was afraid to broach the subject for fear of what response her long-time friend might give.

* * *

 

It was one of those classy events that Makarov ‘encouraged’ them to attend to schmooze up to the people of Magnolia after the members of the Guild, generally a particular few, had garnered their frustrations for some destructive incident or another: this particular event was for the mayhem caused by Laxus Dreyar during his attempted takeover. They were always black-tie, and despite the way Makarov phrased the ‘invitations’ everyone had to attend. Gray didn’t disobey. But, that didn’t mean he was going to participate. He lingered at the wall in one corner of the overcrowded hall, separated from the vast majority of the gathering, as he did at all of these things. He usually had a pretty good view of the goings on--not that he ever felt the need or desire to dive into any of it head on. These things usually went about the same way.

He could see Cana over at the bar, already making Makarov regret the decision to pitch in by making it an open bar. A drink limit would be imposed by the end of the night. There was a ruckus off to one side where Elfman had already commandeered a table for his customary arm-wrestling competition. Some of the townsfolk tried their best and they and Natsu had already failed to defeat the large man. Natsu and Happy had since moved on to pull a series of pranks on the party goers, mostly members of the guild. They’d gone after Elfman before, on the occasions that the arm wrestling contest was particularly embarrassing, but they usually preyed on Macao or Bicslow. That evening, they’de taken to including poor Lucy on their list of targets, and Gray wondered not for the first time if she’d started to regret her decision to join the Guild.

She blended right into the formal setting, though. This, coupled with the apartment she could afford, made him think she probably came from some kind of money. All class and elegance, she’d danced with several men already that night and would surely dance with more. She’d probably intended to ask Natsu for a dance at one point, but after being the victim of a prank which had resulted in the ruining of her dress via a spilled beverage, not actually the goal of the prank but an unfortunate accident resulting from it, it seemed Lucy was so angry that she refused to so much as acknowledge him for the remainder of the evening. Natsu seemed mostly unbothered by this turn and was currently stalking poor Macao, who had no idea where the flying shrimp which kept hitting him in the head were coming from; Romeo was getting a kick out of it, though.

Mira, as Gray could see she already was, would be the star of male attention that evening as she was at all of these things. All night she’d be surrounded by scores of men just hoping for the great privilege of dancing with her. She’d agreed to a brave few at first, and now she’d be dancing for the rest of the evening because they’d all realized she was both available and willing.

A door opened off to one side of the hall, and Gray caught a glimpse of purple disappearing around the doorframe.

It was Erza. He knew it was. This was the usual time for her to step out. She’d made her rounds already, had weaved her way between groups to exchange the customary pleasantries. That she’d finished those rounds meant everyone, guild members, dignitaries, and common folk alike was now aware the great Titania of Fairy Tail was present. Gray wondered if any of these people ever noticed the way she would glance towards the twirling couples on the floor when she thought she wasn’t being watched. It was always a wistful yet resigned sort of look. No one ever did ask her to dance, probably too afraid of getting a punch to the face for trying. It was a shame because she was always dressed to the nines at these things.

Gray surprised himself a little on that particular night when, after seeing her slip out, he broke from his own pattern. He pushed himself from the wall and crossed the room, stepping around the periphery to avoid being dragged into anything, and he followed her out those doors. He’d never seen where she went before, when she disappeared for about half an hour, and he found himself in a side hall, a number of avenues open to him. He knew she hadn’t left the event, both because she always showed back up and because Erza Scarlet would never be so improper as to abandon a function early, so the way to the exit was out. Ultimately, he decided to head up the stairs to the right.

His intuition proved true and he found she’d chosen one of the small, currently otherwise vacant side balconies as her refuge and now stood with her hands resting on the stone railing, looking out at the expansive view of Magnolia across the canal. He found as he stepped out to join her that, while Erza’s dress appeared modest from the front, reaching all the way up to a collar around her neck, it swooped daringly low on the other side. With her hair intricately bound on top of her head, the entirety of her back was exposed and Gray had to keep himself from letting his eyes linger. Not that Erza had a problem with people admiring her figure, clothed--mostly--or otherwise. But, it wasn’t his place to stare.

“You look stunning tonight, Erza,” he said in greeting as he approached, hands stuffed idly into the pockets of his slacks to keep them behaved--with that dress of hers, this was possibly very dangerous territory and he couldn’t risk his fingers growing a mind of their own.

She turned and smiled, not phased in the slightest by his sudden and uncharacteristic appearance. That smile reminded him that he’d made the right call when he’d resisted that instinct to kiss her weeks before. Erza had just been through hell and he would’ve just messed things up between them. She certainly wouldn’t be smiling at him now, that was for sure.

“Thank you, Gray,” she returned while he tried to tell himself that the sight of her smile didn’t affect him in any extraordinary way. “I’d say the same, but it’s difficult to say with a straight face when you aren’t wearing a shirt.”

Gray’s eyes went wide as cold dread seeped into his veins and the ice mage looked down--he’d been  _ so _ careful all night to keep his habit under control--only to find… He  _ was _ wearing his shirt. He’d left his jacket on a chair earlier because he’d been getting too warm and it seemed he’d slipped his tie off at some point, but his shirt was still most definitely in place, so he wondered what she was-

That was when Erza failed to suppress a soft little laugh, and Gray looked up to find her grinning at him from behind her hand as she further failed to stifle her giggles. He couldn’t believe it.

It was a joke.

“I’m sorry,” she said, earnestly contrite but with laughter in her voice, “I didn’t think you’d fall for it.”

Gray rubbed the back of his head and couldn’t help but laugh a little as well, even at himself.

“It happens so often, it’s hard to tell when people are kidding.”

Usually, they weren’t.

“My apologies if I’ve caused you trouble. That wasn’t my intent.”

“Nah, it’s cool. Not sure where my tie went, though…” Gray mused and he turned to glance back down the stairs, trying to come up with some recollection of what he’d done with it, but he ultimately dismissed it as a lost cause and turned back to face her. “Besides, it’s good to see you smile.”

She didn’t do so nearly often enough, he thought.

Her smile became a tad bashful at this and Erza turned to face the city again. As Gray approached to stand next to her, she tucked some surely purposefully loose--because she would settle for nothing less than perfection--strands of hair from her updo behind her ear. He decided not to call her out on this strange and un-Erza like reaction to a compliment because it was probably just from the atmosphere of the evening.

“Do you need help finding your tie?” She asked, looking at him sidelong, but Gray shook his head.

“Nah, it’s fine. Wasn’t anything special or anything.” And he hardly had use for a tie anyway outside of these events. “Anyway, what’s got you in such a good mood tonight?” He asked instead.

He couldn’t remember the last time she’d told a joke.

“I’ve always enjoyed these events,” Erza confessed with another smile that he didn’t appreciate far more than he should. “They’re…” she paused as she searched for the right word and she eventually settled on, “relaxing.”

It certainly wasn’t taking on a Dark Guild, that was for sure. Gray would at least give her that much, but all the same…

“I’ve always hated them,” he groused, and Erza laughed again.

“I’m not surprised. It  _ is _ the sort of thing where the loss of clothing, childhood sorcery training habit or no, is frowned upon.”

“Well, there’s that too,” Gray admitted because it seemed he was possibly already on his way to stripping that evening if his missing tie was anything to go by, “but it’s rather that it makes all the girls  _ crazy _ .”

He added this with a frown, thinking of the screeching pleas he’d endured for a good hour at the beginning of the night from girls who simply wanted to dance, nevermind that is was him they’d been asking. He was a little surprised Juvia hadn’t been one of them, though he doubted she’d have screached about it like the others had. She’d even stopped by his little corner to greet him earlier, but perhaps she’d heard him turn down all of the other women and hadn’t bothered asking. It was just as well because he would’ve hated turning her down. But, the last thing he wanted was to lead her on.

Getting back to the matter at hand, Gray said, “I mean, normally they want nothing to do with me, but here they try to get me to dance just so they aren’t left out for three measly minutes.”

“Is that why you’ve been hiding in the corner all night long?”

Erza seemed amused again, her eyes alight with it, and it was difficult not to smile.

“Hey, us wallflowers got a reputation to uphold here.” Gray said as if it were a matter of pride. “If I dance with one, the floodgates’ll open and they’ll wear me down until I’m just a Gray colored puddle on the floor.”

This time, Erza’s laugh was his aim, and he wasn’t disappointed. At least not at first. But, her smile turned bittersweet in the moment next as she looked down at her hands on the railing. Suffice it to say, he didn’t like to see her wearing that expression. It… unsettled him, made him want to punch whatever was the cause of it. At the very least, that suspicion he’d held was now proven.

“Still, it’s nice you were asked,” she said in a tone which matched her sullen smile and Gray’s hands fisted in his pockets as he clenched his teeth.

He’d always hated seeing Erza sad.

“Well, I can’t promise to sweep you off your feet or anything, but…”

Prying his fingers from their fist, he pulled his hand from his pocket and held it out between them.

She looked at it and then at him, confused until he asked, “Would you like to dance?”

Erza stared at him for a moment and blinked several times before she seemed to realize that his offer was genuine. He saw a brief flutter in her expression of what he thought might’ve been excitement, like she couldn’t believe she was finally being asked this, but then she was confused again, and Gray couldn’t really blame her as she glanced around at their surroundings.

“Out here?”

He gave a shrug, hand still offered.

“Why not? It’s as good a place as any. Besides, it’s too hot inside. Too many people and not enough room.”

Erza laughed and gave him another smile that pleased him to see.

“You think it’s too warm when the rest of us are freezing,” she mused, and Gray reached up to scratch at the back of his neck again because he couldn’t exactly refute this claim. “What happened to your wallflower reputation we were just talking about?”

Gray shrugged again.

“Well, it’s just us out here, and I’ll deny it if anyone asks,” he added quickly, but Erza smiled again and, damn it, he was pretty sure she could see right through him. “Besides, it’d be a crime if a woman wearing a dress like that never got the chance to dance.”

After another moment to consider something he wasn’t sure about--he never could quite get a read on her--Erza gave a small nod.

“I’d love to dance.”

She reached out and placed her hand in his and Gray couldn’t deny the little jolt the touch sent through him, but he steadfastly ignored it. They moved away from the railing for more space. Her free hand found his as the other slipped up to his shoulder and Gray almost didn’t have the guts to drop his hand onto her waist--still, he kept it a little high just to be on the safe side.

And then, when the moderate beat of the music wafting distantly out from the main room was right, Gray started them moving, small steps at first to make sure he had his bearings because his mind had decided to flee from him the moment Erza closed in and he nearly forgot the steps. He was surprised himself at the ease with which they proceeded to sway and rotate around the space because he’d honestly been terrified that he might trip over his own feet or trip her or any number of other unfortunate accidents. It wasn’t even that he had no idea what he was doing. It was more just that his heart was pounding with her so close and he feared it might make him a terrible clutz.

“Wow, you’re actually not bad,” Erza said a few moments into their dance and Gray tried not to look too pleased with himself. “You had me worried for my toes for a moment.”

“Well, I may have,” he cleared his throat of a tickle that wasn’t there just to prolong this confession of his and then added with a mild internal cringe, “taken a class or two.” Or taken them semi-regularly for a few months. At the woman’s enquiring look, he added with another laugh at his own expense, “I’m a strange and aloof subconsciously-self-stripping mage who, when he’s not out of town for unexpected and extended periods of time, lives in a tiny apartment in a poor part of town.” He shrugged. “I had to have  _ something _ to set me apart for the ladies.”

He said it as if there had been many interested women. There hadn’t.

A glint of amusement lit Erza’s eyes before she asked, “And how exactly do you expect them to know this when you refuse to dance with them?”

Gray’s neck and ears flushed with an immediate rush of embarrassment because, damn it, how had he never thought of this catch-22?

“Well,” he fumbled for an excuse and jumped at the first one he thought of, “I can’t exactly go showing off to everyone or it wouldn’t be a secret skill, would it?”

Damn, that was a lame one…

Erza’s smirk, complete with the quirking of a single thin eyebrow, told him she could see right through him yet again and Gray wished he could get that kind of bead on her. He stood there, trying to decipher her as he did in most situations, and Erza held his eyes for a moment before she smiled and turned her eyes down to his chest as she breathed out a small--nervous?--laugh. His eyes narrowed a little because the action and her behavior was so out of place from her norm, but, once again, he didn’t confront her about it.

“So,” she said and for a moment he thought it sounded like she was redirecting from something. Then she asked, “How many girls exactly have you revealed this ‘secret skill’ to?” and he lost that train of thought as he resisted the urge to duck his head in embarrassment over his own folly.

“Well, you would…” Gray had to stop to clear his throat again before adding, “be the first.”

Erza lifted her eyes again and there was mild surprise there.

“Really?” In the faint lighting offered from the windows, he thought her cheeks may have colored ever so slightly, and the sight did something to him, made his insides inflate in a strangely pleasant fashion. “Well,” she breathed out after a pause which had surely been exaggerated by his mind, “I’m honored.”

The smile she gave him made Gray promise himself to, at some point during another one of these ridiculous events, ask her to dance again if only for the chance to see that smile again. Perhaps one day he’d even be brave enough to do so inside on the actual dance floor where others could see them. Until then, however… perhaps dancing alone up on that balcony wouldn’t be so bad.

* * *

 

It wasn’t long before they were both back down in the main room. Erza disappeared back into the thick of things and Gray found himself soon thereafter trying to console a still upset Lucy over the state of her dress, intercepted on his way back to the isolation of his little corner. It appeased her a little when he told her she’d managed to get most of it out, but, really, it seemed like she just wanted to complain about Natsu’s antics earlier that evening. He told her it happened every time they had one of these parties, that she shouldn’t take it as a personal affront and he was in the middle of insisting he was not defending Natsu--because he would  _ never _ \--when he heard his name called. Turning, Gray was surprised to find Erza approaching through the bustle of nearby people, something in her hand. An investigative glance revealed the swatch of dark fabric hanging from her fingers was his tie.

“Hey, you found it,” he said as she came to a stop beside him and Lucy and Gray was only smiling because Erza was doing the same; it wasn’t like he’d actually missed the strip of fabric, which meant literally nothing to him, and was smiling because he was just  _ so _ relieved to see it.

“Hey, Erza,” Lucy greeted warmly, a greeting which was returned in equal manner, and then the ever inquisitive blonde inquired, “Found what?”

Erza lifted the offending article of clothing which was missing from around the ice mage’s neck.

“Gray managed to misplace his tie earlier and I happened upon it,” Erza’s response was somewhat humored and Lucy gave a good-natured sigh.

“Can’t say I’m surprised,” she said. “I hardly even noticed it was missing, to be honest.”

Gray wondered if it wasn’t uncommon for people to no longer take stock of what he was or wasn’t wearing anymore--unless of course that ‘something he was wearing’ happened to be nothing at all.

“Where was it?” he asked Erza and this was less out of curiosity and more just to get her to linger while she explained where his errant tie had run off to.

Erza offered just a simple, “It was draped over one of the chairs,” however, and Gray was a little disappointed.

He held his hand out to accept the tie, knowing she probably wanted to get back to her own things. She’d already hunted the thing down, apparently, and he felt a little bad for being such a bother.

But, Erza stepped closer instead, her hold on the tie expressing her intent even as she said, “Here, let me.”

And then Gray went still, his breath catching as she drew closer still to drape it around his neck. With nimble fingers, Erza wound the fabric around itself and he waited with bated breath, watching. He was well aware that he was staring at her as she worked, but he struggled not to, even with Lucy surely looking on through the entire sequence. This staring was brought to a merciless end when he caught his eyes straying down to her lips, however, and he forced himself to look down to where she was securing the final knot of his tie, more pristine than he could ever manage to get it. And then she pulled away, all too soon he felt.

“Uh, thanks,” he said, resisting the overwhelming urge to shift and fidget as he ran a hand over his tie. “Looks nicer than when I do it.”

Erza gave him a smile and offered her future assistance in such matters with an, “I’m always available,” which sent his heart pattering at the thought of her standing so close again to do so.

It was as he was debating ‘losing’ his tie again that evening, if only because she might tie it for him again, that he knew he was in  _ so _ much trouble with this crush of his.

“Have a nice evening,” Erza said to both him and Lucy in farewell and then she set off, disappearing back into the fray of the party.

Gray watched her go until Lucy asked, “Are you blushing?”

“What? I’m not,” he said and perhaps it was just a little over insistent because his face was in fact a little warmer than it’d been before.

“You didn’t actually lose your tie, did you?” Lucy posed a moment later, and she narrowed her eyes at him with a somewhat feline grin. Fortunately, she seemed to be under the impression that she’d caught him red-handed trying to underdress for the event by playing on his habit of stripping unintentionally because she added, “You tried to ditch it.”

It was a relief that this was her take away from everything previous and Gray conceded it to her because discussing his hopeless infatuation with Erza wasn’t high on his list of priorities. All the same, he’d best not lose his tie again that evening, at least not intentionally, or Lucy might just catch on afterall.

As he crept back to his corner, where he would linger for the next twenty minutes before heading out for the night, Gray found himself wondering if there would be another one of these ridiculous events sometime soon.


	3. Crossing That Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3: Rated T  
> Aaand, Chapter 3. This one contains considerably more angst, so prepare yourselves.

This wasn’t what she had expected to find when she’d followed the dark mage out into the woods. He’d reportedly been giving the people of the nearby town trouble, skirting around with some supposedly nefarious plot underfoot. In order to suss out what he was up to, Erza had tracked him to a dilapidated old logging cabin and had then tailed him into the woods when he’d departed shortly after her arrival. But, he’d just sat on the ground in a clearing a short ways off and, after he’d done absolutely nothing for an entire ten minutes besides sit there, Erza had decided to step out to confront him directly--subterfuge had never been her forte anyway.

He’d flinched when she’d addressed him, one hand rising to his hood as if to assure himself it was still in place and, in hindsight, he had probably recognized her voice the instant she’d spoken. It was why he’d made sure his face was hidden. He didn’t answer as he’d climbed quickly to his feet. Erza had addressed him again, this time with a warning in her tone, and he’d turned. He’d stopped himself short of looking at her, but she’d recognized enough of him by the glimpse she’d caught of his profile to be surprised.

So, now she was standing there, her chin dropped a half-inch, as she stared at the back of his head in utter shock.

“Gray?” she asked and he flinched again. It may as well have been an answer in the affirmative. “Gray!” Erza was unable to contain her pleased grin. “How remarkable! Have you come to investigate this mage the townsfolk spoke of as well?”

Perhaps he had hoped to catch the mage back in the cabin, she thought. But, then… why leave?

He turned his profile back towards her when she approached, but not enough to look at her. He ducked his head as she drew nearer and she saw him swallow before he finally turned to face her properly.

Erza was surprised to find he was wearing that hooded cloak because the right side of his face was covered by some sort of black mark, almost as though he’d been burned by shadow. It was clearly magical in nature, if only because people didn’t usually sprout such things naturally. But what exactly it was, she couldn’t hope to guess.

Requipping off her gauntlet, she reached up on an instinct of concern to touch the mark on his cheek, but Gray caught her wrist in the air to stop her. His fingers, the knight noted, were black as well and she wondered if that mark was connected all the way up to the one on his face or if they were two separate manifestations. His eyes were cautious, his jaw clenched, and she regretted acting on impulse because she hadn’t meant to unsettle him. It pained her to have him look at her that way, like he’d forgotten that they were supposed to trust one another.

“Erza,” he said in greeting, his tone carefully neutral.

Not wanting to unsettle him further by touching him, but also loathing not to because because those marks concerned her, Erza retracted her hand. Gray’s hold on her wrist made her think for a moment that he was reluctant to let go, a yearning for contact which she didn’t generally associate with him. He did, however, and dropped his marked hand back to his side.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized for her intended intrusion of his personal space and she rubbed the pads of her fingers against her palm, shoving down the instinct to inspect the markings for herself anyway in a manner he clearly didn’t wish her to. “What’s happened?”

There was a somewhat tense pause then as he stared at her, his eyes loaded with thoughts she couldn’t decipher.

Ultimately, he said, “My father’s magic.”

That was the moment she made the connection that he was the supposed Dark Mage the townspeople had been so afraid of, that the markings seem to have branded him as nefarious in the minds of those who didn’t already know him as the kind, albeit guarded, soul she did. That anyone could think Gray evil just because of some backfired magic boiled her blood and she had to swallow the surging protective rage before she spoke because she didn’t want him to think she was upset with  _ him _ .

“Do they hurt?”

He blinked, infuriatingly unreadable in this situation, and offered a surely oversimplified, “Not so much anymore.”

Did that mean they used to hurt quite a bit? She didn’t ask.

“How long have you been like this?” she inquired instead.

Again, his very simple response was, “About two months now.”

Two months… Did that mean he’d been on his own for that long? He clearly didn’t want to traverse into town in his condition and the villager’s response to him was enough reason to warrant this. Had he been chased away, she wondered? From more than one village or town? How long had he been here, in this particular place? The people in town seemed to believe him a relatively new visitor to the outskirts of their home. Did that mean he tried to stay on the move in the hopes that no one would send someone after him as they had her? Had it been two months since he’d had a friendly conversation with someone? Had it been two months since someone had looked at him without jumping to the conclusion that he was some dark mage out to snack on poor innocent children?

The impulse to embrace him was a strong one and Erza barely managed to bite down on it.

She smiled, however, and offered a more hesitant but entirely earnest and understated, “It’s good to see you.”

It’d been six months since their parting after the disbandment of Fairy Tail and she only realized then how much she’d missed everyone. Gray stuck out as one she’d missed the most, along with Natsu, Lucy, Wendy, Mira, and Makarov.

It was a relief when the corners of his mouth quirked upward in the barest hint of a smile and Gray returned with a, “Yeah,” that was somewhat loaded, again with something she couldn’t identify.

Minutes later they had returned to the logging cabin he was squatting in and Erza was pretty sure her poor opinion of the state of the place was quite apparent through her expression. The air was thick with dust and a musty smell from water leaks and the small space was cluttered with crates and tools and the miscellaneous debris of workers past. There was barely enough room for the rickety old chair set against the wall beside the door and the falling-apart-bed tucked into the back corner.

Gray chuckled softly as he cleared a small stack of books off of the chair and he offered it to her as a seat.

“It’s not that bad,” he said in defense of the detestable living conditions he’d been forced to subject himself to, confirming that her her distaste was indeed apparent.

Erza didn’t take the seat he’d offered. She wasn’t entirely sure the chair would be able to support her weight without collapsing, to be honest, and she wasn’t eager to find out.

“Come stay with me,” she said as she turned her attention back to her friend. “I have a room in town. I’m sure it would be little fuss to switch over to one with two beds.”

Gray swallowed and he didn’t turn to look at her, putting it under the guise of moving a crate off of the corner of an over-occupied old table, so that he could set the books he’d moved for her onto the splintered, overstacked tabletop.

“I don’t want to be any trouble,” he said.

Erza’s frustration made her want to punch him for even suggesting that he would be imposing. In actuality, she wanted to punch everyone whose small-minded views based on his appearance alone had forced him to isolate himself in such a way. But, she wouldn’t stand for a friend living under these conditions when she was more than plenty capable of offering a better alternative.

“It’s decided,” she said, leaving no room for argument. “You’ll stay with me.”

Gray seemed taken aback by the blunt nature of her not-request as he turned to stare at her. He turned away again a moment later and she was pretty sure she heard him mutter something about ‘bossy women’ as he scratched at the back of his head with a marked hand. She decided to take it as a compliment.

* * *

 

And so, Gray and Erza started sharing a hotel room, upgraded of course to a two-bed instead of the single-bed room she’d been renting before. Any townsfolk who so much as looked at him the wrong way quickly found themselves on the receiving end of her ire and ultimately left him alone.

Gray woke early, usually as soon as the sun peeked over the nearest rooftops. Erza woke earlier, already dressed and prepared for a day which would be spent investigating rumors of the mysterious Avatar, her entire reason for being in that town to begin with. 

They were together in the mornings and the evenings and conversation was sparse between them. Erza thought Gray, already not much for talking to begin with, might’ve been a little out of practice, understandably so given how long he may have been on his own, so silence wasn’t uncommon between them. Honestly, she wasn’t typically one to hold long-winded conversations either, so Erza was okay with the quiet. He was usually in a better mood in the mornings, before he spent the day fruitlessly trying to get a handle on those markings on his body and it wasn’t long before he spent his days assisting her instead. He wanted to take his mind off of things, he said, and she didn’t turn down the offer because she’d been following rumors for a month with little to show for her efforts.

Gray seemed somewhat uncomfortable most of the time and ever aware of his own personal space. Erza found herself breaking it, usually with a hand on his arm or his back, if only in an attempt to break him out of the shell he’d formed between himself and the outside world. He jumped at first whenever she touched him, but he slowly got used to it and she thought this bridge of normalcy she’d extended might’ve even offered him some relief because he relaxed little by little, the more time that passed.

Of course, all of this only played on old feelings Erza thought she’d buried even before Fairy Tail had ended. She would find it difficult to fall asleep some nights, just listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing across the room, at times wondering what it would be like to feel the warmth of it on her neck or in her hair. Sometimes, when she was starting to drift off, she would find herself imagining a number of scenarios, none of which were appropriate because he was involved with Juvia, or at least he wanted to be if he wasn’t; Erza was convinced of this. These waking visions could start with his fingers at her elbow or with a mistep which left them both occupying the same narrow doorway or even with his lips at her ear as he settled in behind her in the dark and whispered her name. She usually brought thevisions to a swift and merciless end the instant their lips met, frustrated because she was behaving like a ridiculous, lovesick teenager when she had a  _ mission to accomplish _ .

Ultimately, despite all of the distractions, a couple weeks into their new living arrangement the investigation lead to a town a little ways south, a small pitstop for traders located at the border of a rather ominous forest. There were no rooms with two beds, unfortunately and, for Erza’s dwindling funds with work being scarce, they needed to share a room still. Gray insisted he would sleep on the floor, but she told him not to be ridiculous. There was plenty of room for the both of them and, so long as he had no fear of cooties, it would be fine if they shared, or so she’d insisted. 

In the end, she should’ve accepted his first offer. It was likely to offer more exposed body surface area in order to keep himself cool, but Gray tended to sprawl out, she’d very quickly learned firsthand, though he didn’t stretch out enough to push her off the bed or anything. But, one night, his fingertips grazed her side as he’d turned in his sleep and stretched his uncovered arm out, it was like a lightning bolt up her spine, a powerful but swift jolt which had her pulling away from the sheer intensity of it. Erza found herself wondering when things had started to change so drastically, when she’d started to feel this… energy at the thought of being near him.

On some level, she already knew. She’d missed him during their separation after the disbandment of Fairy Tail, but these errant feelings had surfaced well before then.

It was frustrating how she was ever aware of him beside her or, if she turned onto her side, at her back, this sort of tension lighting up her nerves with him so close, nearly making her jump every time he shifted, her nerves wound tight. Unfortunately, she recognized exactly what that tension was but was unable to put an end to it through the force of her will alone.

On one night in particular, she dreamt that she was woken by his lips on the back of her neck. When she had actually woken minutes later, she was flushed, her heart pounding and the images from what had evolved into a rather salacious dream haunted her until she rose much earlier in the morning than usual. Erza made sure she was already out of the hotel room long before Gray awoke the next morning, not sure if she could trust herself and afraid that he might be able to read any lingering thoughts from her just by looking at her.

It was almost a relief when they finally managed to confirm that Avatar was indeed based in the Mikage Forest. They still, however, needed to know what the guild was up to and Gray insisted that he be the one to go out into the woods in search for it, that he could pass himself off as a want-to-be recruit if he did find them or, conversely, if they found him. He was offering to go undercover, she realized quickly and Erza wanted to deny the idea outright.

This wasn’t for practical reasons. Of course, she realized that, with his father’s magic and how it had backfired, it would be easier for him on an aesthetic level to infiltrate a dark guild than it would be for most others, particularly former members of a well-known legal guild and particularly for Erza herself. It only made sense that he be the inside man. But, Erza wanted to protest all the same because she was worried. Worried that he would be discovered. Worried that he wouldn’t make it back, that she wouldn’t see him again. These were foolish thoughts, however, and she didn’t voice them, forcing herself to act on practicality rather than the growing want of her foolish heart.

And so, they began to formulate plans. They came up with a number of contingencies for what to do if things went wrong--though most of those, she knew, could go right out the window in any but a select few circumstances, none of which were guaranteed to happen. They decided on a number of information drop-off locations, places in the forest where he could leave intel without having to use the communication lacrima she gave him. They set up regular check-in times for him to contact her via that lacrima, mostly so she could know Gray’s cover was still in tact. They set up a number of codes, phrases he could say when a number of incidents occurred, including one for if his cover was blown and another for if he needed to extract himself because the guild required him to do something he couldn’t. They went over this information time and again until neither of them had to think about any of it anymore to come up with a response. All the while, at night, Erza lay awake, a bundle of worry and worst case scenarios.

Three days after they started planning, everything was set, but the night before he was to leave, Gray didn’t return to their hotel room. Her initial fear was that he’d set off without a word. But, his supplies weren’t gone, so Erza went out looking, wandering the small village at two in the morning in search of one wayward Gray Fullbuster.

Despite the small size of the village, it took her about an hour to locate him because, as it turned out, he wasn’t actually in the village. Gray, on the night before he was to set out on a dangerous undercover mission, was throwing rocks into a small river a short trek to the south. He was also quite apparently drunk. His hair was messier than usual, and the third button from the top of his wrinkled and disheveled button up shirt was undone as though he’d started to remove it from the middle and then either forgot what he was doing or lost the will to care. A mostly empty bottle of beer stood on the muddy, pebbled shore beside him, seemingly forgotten for the time being.

He was angry she gathered quickly, about his father and his magic, and as Erza tried in vain to calm him she wondered if it was the first time he’d let himself be so since his father’s death had left him with this new magic, bottled up all of that hurt until it shattered its glass vessel. Of course, she realized then that this may not have been so out of the blue as she thought, that perhaps he’d been struggling with it since their reunion and she’d just been so preoccupied with her own selfish troubles to notice. She felt a pang of guilt and struggled for a moment to breath for the pain of it, wondering if she could have helped him work through it before that night.

“-and now this is all I’m good for, isn’t it? To play the role of the villain all because I can’t control your  _ damn magic _ !”

As Gray shouted this latest in a series of angry statements, directed at a father who couldn’t be there to hear him, he reached down and threw the mostly empty bottle of beer at his feet out into the river.

The motion threw him off balance and he slipped in the mud near the riverbank. Erza barely managed to catch him by the arms as he stumbled to ease his landing and he sunk down. She knelt down in front of him as he sagged, her knees landing in the mud and her hands lingering atop his own as they settled on his bent knees, and he ducked his face away from her sight, his entire frame slumped.

“I’m failing him.” he said, his tone quiet, resigned.

“No. You aren’t. You’re trying to  _ honor _ him” Erza insisted because that distinction was crucial, the difference between a man who ignored the wishes of his father and a man who was just… coming up short despite his best efforts. But, he was  _ trying _ . “There is no more he could ask from you.”

Gray’s fists clenched tightly and his shoulders hunched, laced with so much tension that she thought it a wonder he wasn’t tearing right out of his skin.

“And it’s a real bang-up job I’m doing, too!” he growled into his stomach. “He wanted me to carry on where he left off and I can’t even control this power he gave me! What good am I?”

“Gray, you can’t think like that,” Erza said, absently rubbing small circles on his knuckles with her thumbs on an instinct to offer him even a modicum of comfort. It didn’t seem to work…

“I can’t help it.” Gray muttered. “This was everything to him! He came back and this was all he wanted. He-...”

Then his words stuttered to a halt and Erza felt a constricting pain in her chest because she was at such a loss for anything she could do for him? When he spoke again, his words were small and she got the heart-wrenching impression that he was lost, not entirely but more than a little and more than he should ever be. Her eyes prickled in the night air with a building moisture.

“He was alive again…” he spoke into the quiet which had fallen. “He was  _ alive _ , but all he could think about was revenge and ending it again when he could’ve… Why didn’t he want to come back with me? Why did he want to die?”

More quietly he spoke four words that nearly shattered her.

“Why wasn’t I enough…?”

“Oh, Gray…” Erza muttered with a voice which trembled with emotion and she reached out to rest a hand on his neck, wishing so strongly that she could pull all of this from him, take it all on herself if only to spare him from it. “You  _ are _ .”

She bent low before she could ward herself from her course and set her cheek against the side of his brow. For their positions, it was an awkward sort of embrace, but Gray didn’t make a move draw away, so Erza let herself linger there, heart ever the glutton for hurt. Even more than that, he leaned into the touch and she told her heart to quiet as it fluttered in response, scolding herself because this wasn’t the time for such things. And besides, it was--surely--hardly the reaction she hoped it was.

“I can’t tell you what he was thinking,” Erza said, forcing her mind back to the matter at hand because this was about Gray and not her foolish heart. “I don’t know how hard any of it was for him, but… What I do know is that you  _ are  _ enough,” she said, dragging her fingernails through his hair as her fingers tensed at the notion that he could believe any differently. “You  _ are _ ,” she said and then, softer, with a hesitance she oft hid behind the steel of her armors, she added, “You are to me…”

He didn’t react when she said this and, at first, Erza wondered if she’d spoken the words too softly, even with her lips so close to his ear. But, he had to have. He  _ had  _ to have heard and now he was just… Gray was still for a long while after this confession from her, small and possibly innocent though it was. But, no matter the many ways it could’ve been taken, one friend to another, she began to fear that she’d said too much,  _ revealed  _ too much. She knew he didn’t want her, had at least told herself that she’d made her peace with it no matter the ache it brought her. He wanted someone else and she knew that.

But, when Gray tilted his head up just a bit, the warm of his breath gusting in through her open collar and across her nape, Erza’s heart tripped over itself because that ache was just so strong with him so close. And when he shifted that foolish heart of hers fluttered as she felt his lips brush against her neck. She had to stop him, knew he would regret this action later because he was just hurting and he wanted to feel close to someone, nevermind that she wasn’t the someone he really wanted to be close to.

The corner of her mouth pressed into his jaw before she even realized she’d shifted, a betrayal of her own body acting against what she knew she should be doing: pulling away,  _ stopping this _ . It wasn’t a kiss, not really, but it also wasn’t  _ not _ a kiss. She  _ wanted _ for it to be and it would be so easy just to follow through with it…

She managed not to, but Gray shifted again. He tilted his head up further, his nose grazing her jaw, and then she felt the press of his lips on her throat just beneath her chin and Erza’s eyes drifted shut as her blood pounded loudly in her ears. His actions were almost lethargic, a hesitance slowing him as he moved to press another kiss to her jaw, and Erza breathed out a sigh,  _ leaning into it _ when she should pull away. But, their noses grazed next and then their breaths were mingling. The smell of alcohol was strong on his, and she screamed at herself that she needed to be the voice of reason here.

She met his kiss instead.

Their lips did little more than brush at first, tentative and inquisitive, but the contact stole her breath away all the same, and she was pretty sure those were her lips that were trembling because she could feel her entire frame vibrating with the pent up energy of everything she’d been telling herself she didn’t want.

The next time their lips met, it wasn’t the brush of before but an actual kiss, a real contact which she’d yearned for since the impulse had first occurred to her during a dance on an otherwise vacant balcony what now felt like a lifetime ago. The third time they kissed was lingering and intense, far more than anything she could’ve ever envisioned. It was yearning and desperate and enough to leave her weak in the span of what may have been just a few heartbeats but what could’ve been far more for the was she lost all semblance of time; an eternity could’ve passed in the interim.

Gray’s hands on her shoulders, followed by a slight push and the cold bite of the night air on her lips, was enough to plunge Erza back into the harsh bitterness of reality once more. His fingers trembled and his head was bowed, eyes hidden behind his hair in shame, and her stomach twisted with grief and terror because she knew.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered with an unstable vibrato to his words, and Erza, for the first time since she was a child, wanted to run away. “I shouldn’t have…”

Because she knew before she’d overstepped that she would be doing just that. And she’d done it anyway. She’d acted and hoped on the lead of her foolish heart that he might just want to kiss her for a reason more than just that she was present during this dark time in his life while the woman he actually wanted was far away. She’d hoped that these things she’d come to feel for him might be returned, that perhaps she was just blind to it. But, Erza was a pragmatist and now her ridiculous heart had scathed not only her but him as well. He was drunk and hurting and she should never have let- …No, she should never have  _ encouraged _ him to get in his own way like that.

So Erza apologized too because the last thing she wanted was to pose as any sort of complication between him and Juvia. Gray deserved to have everything his heart desired and she would loathe to be the reason he got any less. And she told her damned heart to be silent when it posed why  _ she  _ couldn’t be who he desired. She turned away from him as she stood because she didn’t want him to see the way her expression faltered, caving in just briefly with a surge of grief over losing something she hadn’t realized she’d wanted so much until the moment she gave in to it.

Schooling herself, a mask of iron slipping so familiarly into place, Erza didn’t speak a word as she turned and took his arm. But, Gray flinched as though expecting ire and she hated that, thinking in that moment that it was little wonder he had eyes for the less-likely-to-lash-out-physically Juvia.

“Come on,” she said, her tone bearing an applaudably steely quality when she thought it would be quivering beyond her control. “You need to sleep.”

He didn’t flinch again as she hefted him to his feet and wrapped that arm around her shoulders, and then Erza lead the way back to the hotel room they would share for only one more night. It was a painfully slow walk, what with his staggered, drunken gait and he was leaning more on her the longer they were moving, his strength or consciousness slowly failing. She could feel Gray’s eyes stray to her at times, though she outright refused to look back. It was true that she was afraid of what she would see there, but, mostly, she just didn’t want to talk about any of it. She didn’t want him to apologize. She didn’t want to hear how she wasn’t what he wanted. She didn’t want to hear about how those kisses had been on the singular impulse of a drunk and lonely man, so desperate to feel something that he’d nearly settled for feeling it with her.

She already knew all of that, but she couldn’t bear to actually hear those words. Not aloud. Not now and especially not from him. Because in that moment, that might just shatter her.

So, Erza kept her eyes straight ahead and this seemed to encourage Gray to keep his silence as well. Honestly, she wondered if he believed she was angry. Honestly, she was, but that anger was directed more at herself than at him. He was the one who was mentally compromised by alcohol, not her.

He managed to keep somewhat conscious just long enough for her to get him into their room and settle him on the bed they would once more need to share. She retreated into the bathroom the instant he was down and closed the door somewhat harshly behind herself, unaware if he even noticed in his state. And then, when she was away from outside scrutiny, those cracks she’d suppressed broke open, deep and jagged fissures fraying apart. Her lungs refused to draw breath correctly, leaving her gasping as silently as she could manage--she may be out of eyesight, but the bathroom was hardly of soundproof construction. Settling on the edge of the small tub which took up most of the floor space in that small bathroom, legs nearly giving out before they could even carry her that far, Erza cried, covering her mouth with one hand to muffle whatever sounds crept passed her iron will and bracing herself on the rim of the tub with the other. And it was all ridiculous because she’d been fine before she’d set out to find him that night. What did she know now that she hadn’t already known then?

The feel of his lips, was the thought her brain was cruel to inflict, and it was true. The only thing to have changed from then to now was that she now knew what it was like to kiss him. She could still feel the tingle of it on her lips, a lingering, phantom touch from each of those three kisses which may just haunt her forever. And that was probably a foolish thought because of course these sorts of things faded with time. The only question was how much time it would take. But, in that moment, Erza feared she would remember what it was like to kiss him even to her dying day.

But, perhaps she was thinking about it all wrong, she realized sometime later. Some, she knew, never got the chance for what she now had, haunted by a regret of the unknown. And, yes, it may have only ignited a longing for more in her heart, but at least she knew what it was to kiss him, even if he’d been breaking and yearning for another. But, she knew now. And she had not one but three to remember.

Ultimately, Erza was able to settle herself with this new understanding, the flow of moisture from her eyes ebbing until there was no more. And then she stood and washed her face and she grabbed the waste bin from beneath the tiny bathroom counter. Gray didn’t stir when she opened the door and the light from the bathroom fell on him atop the bed, right where she’d left him half an hour before. He was lying on his arm, something sure to cut off the circulation to his hand by morning, and one of his legs was at an odd angle.

Setting the wastebasket on the ground beside his head, for use in the morning because he would surely be feeling the aftereffects of so much alcohol, she removed his shoes to help regulate his sleeping temperature and repositioned him with more care than her hasty actions of before, so desperate as she’d been to isolate herself--not that he would’ve even been conscious to witness any of it anyway. That ache in her chest returned as she found herself brushing his hair away from his eye. And if Gray had been at all conscious, she might’ve thought against it, but she gave in to one final impulse that night when she bent to kiss him, just a light press of her lips to his brow.

And there was no regret that time.

* * *

 

Their farewell was awkward and tense with the events from the previous night hanging over them. Gray didn’t remember much, but he remembered enough to know that he’d royally screwed up, crossed a line he’d told himself for so long that he wouldn’t cross. They didn’t hug, however much he yearned to hold onto her before their separation to come, but when Erza extended her hand, he couldn’t not return the gesture, for what little contact with her it granted him. Gray was fairly certain it was an earnest request when she asked him to be careful. He may not have been her favorite person at the moment--hell, he was moons away from being his own biggest fan--but that didn’t mean she wanted him to die and he knew that. His screw up the night before wouldn’t change that.

It was probably the only thing that let him head off on his undercover mission with any sort of focus.

* * *

 

Gray didn’t manage to get control of his father’s magic until two months later. And it was foolish, but he risked his cover because he just wanted to tell her.

“Is something wrong?”

It was a relief to hear her voice, even if it was just over the lacrima, but Gray hated that he’d made her worry. This was outside of the norm for the system they’d so painstakingly set up, a system designed for his safety. He knew she was imagining all sorts of scenarios, worst cases, and he rubbed the back of his neck, berating himself for being an idiot. Because of course Erza would worry. He was only supposed to contact her directly if he was in trouble.

He’d just wanted to tell her.

“No,” he appeased quickly because his cover was still well intact. “I just… I wanted to let you know… I can control them now.”

It turned out, the key to it was the one thing he’d never thought to try because the key was  _ not _ to try. Erza’s, “Perhaps you’re trying too hard,” from one morning early on in their stay turned out to be closer to the truth than anything else. She was silent for a brief time, digesting the very vague news he’d given her.

But, ultimately she offered two words, a soft and undeniably earnest, “I’m glad,” and Gray thought that perhaps things might be alright between them after all.


	4. Giving In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4: Rated E for lemons
> 
> Here’s where the explicit content comes in, starting about halfway through the chapter. If that’s not your cup of tea, the segue is difficult to miss. This is also where the post-series content begins, so a pretty decent time-jump from the previous chapter.

There was a festival in Magnolia once everything settled, a celebration for the end of the war. It was huge, spanning blocks and blocks and Gray was fairly certain the whole of Magnolia had taken to the streets. But, despite how crowded it was and the flux of body heat from too many people so close together, he was in a good mood.

So, he let Juvia drag him this way and that for a while. He let her dress him in colorful clothes, none of which he bought because it was all pretty ridiculous and he was pretty strapped for cash. But, it made her smile so he let her put the things on him anyway, even if they were each just going right back to the rack. Lucy, Natsu, Erza, and Wendy stole him away for some ‘team bonding’, he went along with it. He participated in all of the absurd little games the group dragged him to and he only argued with Natsu a little bit about that one which all of the others  _ insisted _ was a tie. He even gave more than just nondescript not-answers when Lucy and Wendy pestered him about Juvia.

There wasn’t anything between them, at least not in terms of what they were getting at. He cared about her, but, no matter how hard he’d tried, even for the sake of his own heart as well, he was unable to care about her in  _ that way _ . And he felt terrible that he couldn’t return her affection, but he wasn’t going to lie to her and waste her time. But, he liked to think they were close, even if it wasn’t in the way she wanted. What he didn’t notice during any of what he told his two pestering teammates, was how Erza had listened from not so afar with a rapt and ultimately floored expression, as though this had turned her world over, not to unsettle it but rather as though it were off of its head and rightly back on its feet.

It was this seemingly insignificant conversation which initiated everything that followed, a turning point in his life which Gray didn’t even take stock of until he looked back much later.

About an hour into this ‘team bonding’, Wendy handed out a horrendously sweet something-covered-in-cinnamon-and-filled-with-cream-and-fried-on-a-stick, and Gray ate it, not caring that he dropped a little cream on his jacket when Erza stepped closer to wipe at it with a napkin, allowing him to breath in the something-floral scent of her perfume. She’d been eating the same thing he had, but Gray found himself wondering if that treat would taste any different on her lips than it did his own as the pink of her tongue ran across her bottom lip for whatever morsels remained there. He made himself look away, nearly succumbing to that impulse to kiss her, but this soon left his eyes trailing down the line of her neck and across the smooth alabaster skin of her exposed shoulder.

Like many of the women, she’d worn a dress for the occasion, not an overly formal one and relatively tame for how much it covered compared to most of the others he’d seen her wear. But, it was a deep wine red and made of a very flattering material which hung from a single shoulder. It’d been difficult to tear his eyes away from the movement of that dress for the majority of the night, marveling at the motion of the fabric as it fell past her hips and the way it would cling to her in most places, outlining her figure beneath. He didn’t realize he was staring again until Erza glanced up at him from that spot on his jacket and he was quick to avert his eyes. And she didn’t beat him to a pulp for it, so he must’ve done so just in time. It was both a relief and disappointing when, task complete, she stepped away, but Gray did his best not to let himself focus on either reaction.

At one point, Wendy won some ridiculously large, plushy cat toy at one of the games and was now carrying it around, draped over her shoulders like a cape. Natsu ate one stall out of all of its wares and they all had to pitch in when he didn’t have enough to pay for it. Lucy slapped a street performer who’d unfortunately tried to guess her weight and aimed too high. Gray ignored the third volley of fireworks that night because he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the smile Erza had worn as she’d watched them with the others. A parade made its way through the streets and included in the long trail of musicians and costumed performers was a group of people dressed as each of the members of Fairy Tail. They held a performance at one point on a stage near the center of the festival. They missed the beginning and it was rather difficult to hear from so far back, so he wasn’t quite sure what was going on. Most of the characters seemed fairly spot on, but Gray was fairly certain he didn’t brood as much as the actor portraying him implied, The others sure seemed to get a good kick out of it, though this was possibly only because of the sour expression he wore each time his double spoke.

In the end, it was later in the night than he’d expected when he broke away from all of the partygoers, sneaking off to an alley somewhat removed from everything for some relative quiet and some cool air. He sighed, leaning back into the brick wall and tipping his head back, letting himself relax as the night air cooled his scalp and skin.

“I’m surprised it took you this long to sneak away.”

This interruption into his quiet came several minutes later from Erza and Gray turned to find her stepping into the alley after him. He only realized as he lifted his eyes to meet hers a moment later that he’d been staring again, eyes trailing over her figure, and he had to swallow and clear his throat before he was able to speak properly. Hopefully she hadn’t seen where his focus had been in the low lighting so far from the brightness of the festivities.

“Yeah, I’m a little surprised myself, actually,” Gray said, his words far more casual than he’d anticipated and he gave himself an internal fist bump for this small victory. “It’s way too hot in the middle of it all.”

Of course, it wasn’t much better over in that hardly occupied alley anymore, a heat rising up his neck and burning under the collar of his jacket.

“For some of us,” Erza mused with humor in her voice and Gray felt himself laugh, mostly for the nerves bubbling up in his gut at finding himself alone with her.

But, his comment made her smile and he told himself once again that seeing this had no impact on him when in reality it always did. He had to force himself to focus on something else as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, so he wouldn’t be tempted to personally investigate the feel of that distracting fabric she wore.

“But, it’s good to see everybody in such a good mood,” Gray mused, observing a handful of distant people dancing to a tune he could barely make out over the hum of everything else.

“Yes,” Erza agreed, and the palpable relief in her voice had him glancing back to find her eyes far away as she too stared out at the crowds.

He caught himself skimming the line of her exposed neck and turned away again.

“It’s nice to be able to relax again. It feels sometimes like this has all been going on for as long as I can remember,” she said next.

That it did, Gray mused.

Lullaby, Galuna Island, the Tower of Heaven, Oracion Seis, Tenrou Island, the Games, Tartaros, the Alvarez Empire. And, of course, he couldn’t forget Avatar… So many crises in the span of a couple years--at least from their perspective. Yet, at the same time, it sometimes felt like it hadn’t been that long ago that they’d been setting out as a team for the first time, before they’d even met Wendy.

But, it was all over with now.

“I suppose that means we can finally start going after the things we want, doesn’t it?” He asked, his voice distant as he pondered, but Gray didn’t notice how Erza turned back to him with a weight in her eyes. He felt his mood drop and allowed for the first time that perhaps that actor hadn’t been so far from the mark after all. “Honestly, I’m not even sure how to do that. Where to start… That’s the one thing I always envied, how some people can just… go after what they want, give it their all, damn all the consequences…”

Some people were just born to chase life rather than let life chase them. Gray, unfortunately, belonged more to that second group and he sighed because he probably sounded like a pathetic idiot right now in front of a woman who could topple armies if she wanted to.

“You could do the same,” Erza supplied, her voice quiet and there was something in her tone that made it seem almost like she was trying to imply something.

But, that was a lot easier said than done for cowards like him.

“I’d like to think so, but I always… chicken out…” he admitted with a half smirk that was more for amusement directed at himself than real mirth, “I just… I already know how it’ll go, so why bother?”

Then there was a brief pause and that something was still in her tone when Erza said, “I don’t know. You may be surprised by what you find if you go looking.”

That ‘something’ had him turning that time and her eyes held the weight of an implication when he found her staring. And it almost seemed like she was saying… But, no… No, that couldn’t be it. Ultimately, Gray decided he was just kidding himself, a glutton for punishment in all things Erza-related.

“No,” he said at length, ever the pragmatist. “I shouldn’t.” The last time he’d acted on how he felt, stupid-drunk or not, things had been awkward between them for months; they’d only just started getting back to normal and he couldn’t risk making another mistake like that.

He could feel her staring, even as he looked away again and Gray stomped mercilessly on the need to fidget under her scrutiny.

But, of course, she meant exactly what he thought she didn’t mean.

So, when she said, “Well, I can,” Gray wasn’t expecting what followed.

He turned at the sound and the motion of her shifting, but as he did so Erza set her hand on his chest and this simple action stilled him, probably her intention. He found her eyes intense when he looked up and she was closing in with an intent that was unmistakable, if flummoxing and entirely unbelievable, and he felt his heart trip over itself and was left utterly frozen for action or words until there was perhaps an inch between them.

It was a chore because his lungs refused to cooperate, but he managed in a low, hoarse voice, “Erza, what-”

Gray was cut off when she pressed the fingers of her other hand to his lips. And in her eyes he found a yearning which he struggled to believe. Even after she pulled her hand away he couldn’t bring himself to utter another syllable as she leaned in the rest of the way. He saw Erza’s eyelids drift shut as her lips met his, the touch soft and, strangely because he’d never thought her one for it, almost hesitant. A spark lit up his spine at this simple contact and his heart drummed in his ears half a dozen times before she pulled away, just a little. He couldn’t do more than suck in a breath, the one his lungs had refused to properly inhale as she’d drawn nearer, before she leaned back in.

She was less unsure about the contact that second time, the press of her lips a little firmer against his own, and his eyelids drooped of their own accord, leaving him with nothing but the feel of her hand on his chest and her lips on his. She lingered long enough that time for him to forget to keep counting the beats of his heart as a gauge and Gray’s entire body was humming with want and pent up desires. Only when his fingertips grazed over the material of her dress at her sides, the fabric cool beneath his touch, did Gray realize that he’d lifted his arms. Erza broke from him again to suck in a quick breath as he felt a shiver run through her. His hands must’ve been cold even through the dress, he thought, but she didn’t breathe a word of complaint as she pressed back in eagerly.

And, damn it, if he wasn’t somehow making out with Erza Scarlet.

She hadn’t actually followed Gray with the intention of kissing him. While she had learned earlier that night that he wasn’t interested in Juvia, as she’d believed for so long that he had, it didn’t mean his interest in Erza was as anything more than friends. But, she’d caught him staring sometimes throughout the night and had caught that look he’d given her as she’d tended to the mess he’d made of his jacket. And as she’d followed him into that alley his eyes had drifted in a telling fashion and she’d seriously begun to re-evaluate that night from months ago with the perspective offered by a series of new understandings. As for what she realized… well if he hadn’t been wanting to kiss Juvia that night… had he wanted to kiss  _ her _ ? Perhaps he had, Erza thought, because now he was leaning into it, kissing her back, and she was lost to it, too far gone to make herself stop.

Of course, now she knew she didn’t have to and her heart was soaring, beating wildly away in her chest with excitement and a tentative joy.

The minutes ticked by and the only times they pulled apart were to breathe in more deeply than they were able through their noses. His hand found her nape, fingers warm and electrifying and the touch sent another shudder of exhilaration up her spine. Erza drew both of her hands methodically and unabashedly over his chest, mapping the ridges of muscle and the valleys between from atop the fabric of his jacket, and it was thrilling, the freedom to explore him at her own leisure.

When Gray drew his thumb along her jaw, Erza was enticed to part her lips for a warm, open-mouthed kiss which melded their mouths together more intimately, and she sighed through her nose, sure that she would always remember the feel of it. She sucked in a surprised breath through her nose when the tip of his tongue flicked her own, if only because she hadn’t expected it to feel as it did. The contact was brief and moist and warm and Erza drew her tongue back and away on impulse because she’d been caught off guard by the action and the unfamiliar, but not unpleasant, sensation. She didn’t break from him, though, and she reached out a moment later to reciprocate his previous action. Gray’s tongue caught hers briefly on her second retreat and she felt herself quiver again. They traded brushes such as this at first, just a touch here and there. It was a tentative flirting which grew steadily bolder and bolder until they were drawing their tongues unabashedly together--and, oh, she’d never quite imagined it would feel like that. And she tasted no alcohol on his tongue, just a hint of cinnamon and cream. He was kissing her and he was completely sober this time and the thought was inexorably intoxicating, threatening to make her melt on the spot.

Erza eased him back against the brick wall a half pace back and she broke from him when Gray dragged his dull fingernails down her back through the fabric of her dress because it set her body alive with electricity, the muscles of her back squirming along the paths his fingertips drew. She breathed out a soft moan as the muscles in her back drew taught, and this pressed their chests together and,  _ oh _ , she needed more. When she leaned back in to resume their kiss, it was with more fervor and the contact of their bodies remained. Gray hummed out a groan of appreciation when she slipped her hand up into his hair to draw her less dull fingernails across his scalp. Erza wasn’t sure if it was an accident when his thumb grazed the underside of her breast, but it was exhilarating all the same and she wanted more contact and more friction between them and just  _ more _ .

But, they couldn’t. Not there.

It was possibly the most difficult thing she’d ever done, but Erza broke from Gray, a chill running through her as she pulled away from him and was plunged back into the unforgiving night air. In the low lighting from the festivities a ways off she could see his pupils were dilated and she just barely managed to restrain herself at the sight, at the knowledge that he seemed to be affected by her just as strongly as she was by him. Someone cheered off in the distance, however, and it surely wasn’t as distant as her wanting, muddled mind believed. They couldn’t stay there.

She wanted to be alone with him and that couldn’t happen in an alley not far removed from most of the population of Magnolia.

For the thick way in which way he swallowed, her retreat seemed to make Gray think she was putting an end to things. At least until Erza pulled on his hand to bring him from the wall. His eyes snapped back to hers as though they’d been magnetized to them, intense and searching, and she held his gaze for a moment to make her intent and her surety in that intent known before she turned and led him by the hand down the alley and away from the festivities. And he followed, fingers ever curled around her own, and her heart leapt, stealing her breath away.

His apartment was closer than Fairy Hills and her head was swimming the entire way there, Erza struggling to keep her heart rate steady as she was ever aware of his eyes on the back of her head and his hand in hers. She left her heels by the door once they were inside and paused to allow him to do discard his shoes there as well before leading him up the narrow staircase which lead to his room. She hadn’t been to his apartment much, this one or his previous, but there wasn’t all that much to remember. It was small and spartan in nature, the furniture limited and other possessions lacking, and this continued into the upstairs space as well. She wondered if any of this had to do with his habit of losing his clothing, money he could have used to purchase other items used instead to ensure he had something to wear.

But, when they were standing at the foot of his bed, the only object in the room aside from the single nightstand with the single lamp sitting on top, Erza turned to face him again and the thought fell away as she met his eyes, finding them burning with a yearning she’d once only hoped to find there as he looked at her. His hand still clasped in her own, Gray stepped close and as he drew slowly nearer she wondered if his heart was beating as wildly as her own. He leaned in, his breath warm across her face as he drew closer, and then they shared their first kiss since the alley, long and deep and nearly enough to make her knees weak in no time at all. Erza lifted her hands to his neck and drew her fingers slowly up and along the strong and flexing contours of his jaw, exploring the shape and motion of it in a way she’d longed to for so long.

Reaching down then to ease down the zipper of her dress, tucked away beneath her arm, she pulled away from him again and then she watched him watch her as she slid the material from her shoulder. It wasn’t like Gray had never seen her naked before. She’d grown up around the members of Fairy Tail and most of them had seen her either in something far less than prudent or mostly--or even entirely--naked in the baths as one point or another because Erza would be the first to admit that she’d never been ashamed of her body.

But, it was different somehow as she undressed  _ for _ him. Despite what some may think about the clothesless aspect of some of those previous encounters, they had in fact been innocent in nature, a refreshing soak or a steam shared among friends. It was true, Gray had been rather endearingly demure then, all the way back to when they were kids but especially in the years since they had both matured physically, always careful not to let his eyes linger anywhere one might consider it indecent for someone not a lover to look. But, now, he let himself watch as the fabric slipped from her frame, exposing her chest above the thin lace of her bra, her abdomen, the recess of her navel and the smooth skin of her belly just beneath it, the matching lace of her panties, and finally the bare length of her legs as the garment pooled around her feet.

Gray looked up at her briefly as if seeking permission and it was a somewhat hesitant action when he reached out, like he thought she might slap his hand away. And if she’d thought his touch electrifying before, it was nothing compared to when he settled his fingertips on her stomach. Erza’s skin sprouted with a gooseflesh which had absolutely nothing to do with any chill in the air and everything to do with the fact that they were in this situation where his hand was on her bare skin. This was all new territory, for them of course, but all of this was entirely new to her personally as well and her heart was pounding with the excitement and anticipation of it.

Erza sucked in a breath as Gray fanned out his fingers until his hand was lying flat and she felt her nipples rise, pressing into the cups of her bra. Slowly, he moved his hand upward and drew his fingers together to a point as they passed through that valley between her breasts, over the junction of the cups of her bra, and then he fanned them out again across her chest. She leaned instinctively into his touch as her eyelids slipped closed and, surely, if he hadn’t anytime before, he felt the wild beating of her heart now beneath the heavy rise and fall of her chest. Erza drew her hand up his arm and wrist, her fingertips grazing along the back of his hand and,  _ oh _ , how she wanted this…

When she drew him over to it, Gray sat on the edge of his bed and Erza settled over his lap, kneeling with a leg on either side of him as she leaned in to kiss him. A sort of fire ignited beneath her skin when his hand settled on the now-bared small of her back, but the burn was  _ so good.  _ But as she leaned into his chest, her skin met the coarse fabric of his jacket, so she pulled down the zipper and slipped off that barrier between them. She was about to tug on his shirt beneath, intent on removing it as well, but then his lips were on her neck and Erza heard herself give a soft moan which was little more than a breath of an exhale. He trailed those kisses downward and then his lips were on her clavicle and Erza reached back to work blindly free the clasp of her bra. Once it was loose, she slipped it off and dropped it to the side, uncharacteristically lacking a care as to where or how it landed as his kisses moved down her chest and into the valley of skin between the mounds of her no-longer-concealed breasts.

He shifted over then and Erza sucked in a quick breath of surprise when she felt the tip of his tongue flick over the hardened point of her left breast, a teasing touch which sent electricity shooting through her every nerve. And as she arched against him Gray wrapped his lips around her hardened nipple and slid his moistened tongue towards the point of it as he drew the puckered skin into the inviting warmth of his mouth.  He repeated this action once and then again and- Oh.

_ Ohhh _ …

“Oh, Gray…” Erza exhaled softly on a breathless moan, gripping his shoulders with both hands and barely conscious enough to not squeeze too tight.

She didn’t remember pushing him down, but in the next moment she had Gray flat on his back on the mattress, one hand still braced on his shoulder and her other arm beside his head to brace her weight as she pressed down on him, into the rhythmic grazing of his teeth and the soothing but invigorating touch of his tongue. Oh… It was a marvelous duality and the sensation of it soon had her sucking in deep, ragged breaths. It was a disappointment when Gray stopped and released her, cold air nipping at the moistened point of her breast, but it was only for the brief time it took for him to shift over to work on the neglected nipple of her other breast, to dote on it as he had the other, and she practically melted on top of him.

Soon Erza was panting, breathing out a soft moan with each breath she exhaled as she, on some instinct she didn’t care to examine, pushed down into the rhythmic suckling of his mouth just to add a little more pressure to it. As he worked, Gray drew one hand along her spine as the other moved up her leg, his thumb grazing along the coiling muscles of her inner thigh and soon that want, that need, was too much and Erza had requipped off what little remained of her clothing before even she was aware of it.

Gray stopped in an instant. His hands froze, one now resting on bare skin when it had just been laid overtop laced fabric, and with a hand braced beside his head Erza pulled away as he did the same, so that he could examine what had just happened. He went still the moment he noticed and, despite the far from innocent nature of his previous actions, heat rose up his neck and it as well as his ears flushed. It was endearing, in a way, and she felt herself smile.

Erza reached down to take the wrist of his hand that was on her thigh and she lifted it to guide it towards her center. He looked up at her  and she held his eye, imparting through action and through the steady nature of her gaze that she wanted this and her eyelids fluttered as the want and anticipation only escalated the nearer his touch drew. His eyes remained steady with hers all the while, waiting, she thought, for a sign that would never come telling him she wanted him to stop.

It was involuntary, the stuttering of her breath, but her lungs simply refused to function properly when the first of his fingertips grazed her labia because those lips were bare, waxed regularly, and thus there had been no immediate warning beforehand. Watching still, and perhaps he was holding his breath because she could no longer see his chest rising, Gray eased a finger between them.

Erza sucked in a sharp breath when his fingertip grazed sensitive bundle of nerves that lied in eager wait within, so eager for his touch that it was almost painful when at last it came. But, that shock was short lived. She gripped his arm as Gray slowly began to knead the hood surrounding that bundle with the tip of his finger and her eyelids threatened to close because a surge of endorphins and pleasure took over, soon filling her from her core to the tips of her fingers and her toes. It wasn’t like she’d never handled the matter herself. She was a woman and she had needs. But, it was one thing to work herself to her own end and another thing entirely to experience the unanticipatable actions of another. He moved clockwise when she expected counter, slowed when she expected him to keep steady, applied presser when she expected him to pull away.

Erza gave a breathy affirmative on a moan of appreciation as she began to rock into the rhythmic wildcards he drew across her clitorus, pressing herself against him to meet his finger with more pressure than Gray seemed comfortable imposing. He pressed against her more slowly at first, but he grew steadily bolder, acquiescing to her silent plea for more. Faster he stimulated those nerves and with steadily more pressure and it was moments later before Erza realized she had closed her eyes. She couldn’t even recall when she had, too fixated on that wonderful sensation as he worked her along. But, she wanted more. She  _ needed  _ more, her core quivering with want and neglect and eager anticipation.

Erza said his name on a ragged, wheezing exhale as she drew to a halt above him and took his wrist, halting his movements before pulling his hand away altogether. When she opened her eyes, she found Gray seemed taken aback, but she silenced those questions in his eyes when she released him to reach instead for the hem of his shirt. He was still mostly clothed, after all, but that was something she would remedy. With understanding, he lifted his torso up to allow her to pull the material over his head and then his shirt joined her bra where it had landed on the floor. With him settled on his back once more and her settling on his thighs, Erza leaned forward to draw her hands slowly down his chest, fingers gliding freely along the no longer concealed ridges of muscle there, until she reached the waistband of his slacks.

She held his eye as she worked the button free, noting that they were considerably tighter now as she eased the zipper down over a bulge which hadn’t been there the last time she’d taken stock. She felt the click of each zipper notch as the teeth released one by one until there was no more track to tread. As she rose up on her knees, Gray pushed both his slacks and his boxers down over his hips and then he slipped out of his boxers, already erect and eager, the tip glistening with moisture. Erza felt herself flush because, while it was true that she’d seen him naked before just as he had her, the intent in this situation was entirely the opposite of innocent as she wondered how exactly it would feel to be drawn taut around him.

Before he pushed them down any further, Gray remembered to pull his wallet from the back pocket of his slacks and he was then free to kick off both his pants and his boxers as he fished through the billfold, hoping he remembered correctly about those few--somewhat older--condoms inside. He nearly cheered outwardly in success when he found them and pulled one free from the small pack, almost dropping it because his hands were shaking with the adrenaline of his anticipation. It was, thankfully, still good and he started to tear the package open with clumsy fingers.

But, he froze as the air was stolen from his lungs when he felt the light pressure of Erza’s fingertips as they grazed down the hardened length of his cock. It was like a teasing touch at first as she explored the feel of him, and he groaned as her grip around him steadily firmed until Gray was tilting his head back into the mattress on an instinct of pleasure, pushing against the floor to thrust upward in order to oppose the motion of her hand for more friction. Erza worked him along until Gray was fairly certain the vast majority of his blood had headed south in order to make him firm and erect and his head, once swarmed by doubts and questions, was blank, his body swimming happily in an initial surge of endorphins. He heard the wrinkling of the condom wrapper then, the one he’d apparently dropped at some point, and he wondered when he’d gripped her thighs.

When the wrapper was discarded off to the side, Gray had to look down to watch as she positioned the condom over the head of his cock, disbelief warring with the visual proof of all of this. Erza slowly unrolled the rubber down the length of him, one pass after another, until he was fully sheathed and ready and Gray’s heart was beating wildly in his ears, making him wonder at how there was any blood left in the rest of his system to cause this heavy drum beat.

Erza shifted above him and his breath stilted, held in his lungs as he watched. With him in hand she aligned herself to him and positioned him and Gray felt a tremor of excitement ripple through him as she brought the tip of his cock to those smooth, lips bare between her legs; he didn’t know if he was surprised to find that she waxed, but a decision on the matter was the last thing on his mind in that moment when Erza, gorgeous and fierce and everything-he-wanted Erza, was preparing to take him in in this intimate, unbelievable fashion.

She pressed down to ease him in just a little, her eyelids drifting shut briefly at the initial contact, but Gray couldn’t look away, even to blink, transfixed as he watched himself slowly disappear inside of her, his cock expanding and sliding along walls already slick with her lubricating moisture. Erza had to pause briefly when he was halfway in to shift forward a little in order to realign her descent, but then she settled a hand on his arm and continued to lower herself down and then downward and downward she slid, consuming him at a slow, deliberate rate. Gray watched on and he felt for a moment as though he were watching it happen to somebody else instead of him, a sort of out of body experience. But, consume him She did and he could feel every inch of it.

Finally, when he could go no further, all of the air which had been held in his lungs departed in one long, shaky exhale. Erza lingered then and Gray thought by her expression that she might’ve been catching her bearings. He wondered at that, at how it almost seemed like this was all new to her when his path hadn’t been barred partway in by a film of tissue, but he didn’t have the guts to ask her about it. He was a little glad, even, because her need to pause allowed him a moment to try once more to reconcile himself with the knowledge that this was all actually happening.

His eyelids fluttered for the feel of it when Erza at last rose a bit, her moisture coating what little of his cock that was revealed, easing herself pushing back down. She did this a few times, acclimating, he thought, to the feeling of that intimate friction between them, and Gray heard himself let out a soft, low moan. Once she was a little more used to the sensation of him dragging along inside of her, Erza began to explore; that was the best word he could think of to describe how she operated. She experimented with the motion of it, testing out how far she wanted to pull up and the angle at which she did so and then the angle and relative speed at which she came down on him. She tested the roll of her hips, the timing of it and the arc and the speed of the rotation. She tested the depth to which she enveloped him and Gray found she seemed sensitive to him deeper than he expected from his--limited--past experience.

Eventually, she seemed to find an alignment she liked because Erza gave an appreciative moan at the end and then set in on a steady rhythm for it. Gray was surprised by how much she could do with relatively little motion, pulling back and up little more than an inch along the length of him and then taking him in a touch quicker than she’d risen, sheathing him deeply. But, Erza was nothing if not efficient. She clenched around his cock when she pulled back, increasing that pleasurable friction between them, and she pressed herself down firmly when she took him in, slowing to linger just briefly at a deep apex as she rolled her hips, her inner walls coiling and shifting around him.

More tentatively at first and then less so when it seemed to spur her on, Gray pushed against the floor with his feet to press up into her weight each time they were aligned properly for it, squeezing himself in more snugly as she lingered. Not for the first time, he heard the bed springs give a subtle creak beneath him when she pressed down and Erza breathed out a sigh and tipped her head back as she continued to lead them in this fashion.

Her tempo was steady and slow at first, but as Erza got used to the rhythm of the motion, her rise and fall started to come a little quicker and then a little quicker still. Gray ran his hands down her thighs, gripping and drawing his dull fingernails across her skin through the glistening sheen of perspiration which had begun to gather on both of them. Erza’s fists clenched on his arms and he realized he’d left angry red lines in the wake of his fingers, but she didn’t stop. On the contrary, it seemed to spur her on, driving her a little faster and Gray’s eyes rolled up into his head briefly as he dipped his head back into the mattress because  _ damn _ , that was marvelous. Erza pressed down harder as her pace quickened, the bedsprings starting to creak more fervently beneath him, a protest against mistreatment which he took as a cheer to keep them going.

He breathed out her name and an accompanying expletive on a ragged exhale and slid his hands up and forward to grip the firm and generous swell of her backside, pulling each time she came down because it pressed him in tighter. Erza shifted to put a little more driving force into her motions as she rode him hard and fast, one of her hands settling on his abs and the other gripping his wrist. Gray groaned, gripping her more firmly as he continued to thrust upward into her and he could feel it growing, an uprising against his will for this not to end yet. The need for release was getting stronger, but he did all he could to hold it back, just for a little longer, because this could be a one-time thing. He didn’t know what had spurred Erza into any of this, so he didn’t know if it would ever happen again and he just  _ needed _ it to last a little longer.

And just when he thought he was about to blow regardless, Erza gave a half-strangled yell of a groan as she broke, dipping her head back as her entire frame coiled above him, and Gray was finally able to let go. Relief and endorphins flooded his system, filling him with a powerful rush of euphoria, and his toes curled into the carpet as he bucked his hips forcefully upward with a loud grunt and released, a spray of white foam filling the rubber that separated them, slipping out warm and viscous. Gray’s eyes rolled back again as he arched into the mattress with a long drawn-out groan and he squeezed her backside while Erza’s fingernails dug into his abdomen, leaving stinging trails down his abs as she pulled downward.

And then Gray settled heavily atop his damp sheets with a hoarse exhale, his chest heaving as he sucked in deep lungfuls of oxygen. He just laid there for a moment after that as he rode down the flood of endorphins in his system. Above him, he could feel and hear Erza breathing harshly for her previous exertion, the skin of her thighs, slick with sweat, dragging across his equally slick hips with each breath she took. She was coming down too, he knew.

He stayed like that, lying beneath her and staring up at the ceiling, digging his toes into the carpet just for something to focus on besides the tension that began to line his chest as he waited for his heart rate and his breathing to settle. For the first time, he noted the sound of rain on the bedroom window and wondered idly if the unexpected turn of the weather had brought the festivities out in the streets to an early end. Less idly, he wondered what would happen now that this was done. Would she leave? There was no reason she shouldn’t, right? But, Erza made no move to depart, instead settling once again atop his thighs, no longer joined with him but seemingly lacking any eagerness to draw away from him yet. And with that, Gray began to wonder, to hope… Would she… stay?

He was caught by surprise when he felt Erza draw the bedsheet across his abdomen to wipe off his belly, aggravating a tender spot there and he sucked in a breath at the unexpected pain of it and looked down to see her pull the sheet away swiftly, contrite. She muttered a soft apology, for startling him, he supposed, but Gray had trouble focussing any more on it because she was still there and the surprise had gotten him to look at her for the first time since the sex had come to an end. Her hair was damp, sticking to her skin which was a little flushed and still had a faint sheen to it, and she looked…  _ relaxed _ . He only noticed then, after it had slipped away, the stiffness which had lined her shoulders before, and her expression was almost, dare he say, unguarded. Gray pushed up onto his elbows and then further onto his hands, drawing himself closer to her despite the uncertainty which had settled over him. Erza remained where she was as he rose, her gaze locked with his, and he could see the intensity he felt mirrored back at him in her eyes.

“Sorry,” she said a moment later in a quiet voice befitting of their new proximity and he felt her draw her thumb down the skin of his abdomen beside the same tender spot of before. She offered a little smile and added a somewhat bashful, “I guess I got a little carried away.”

Gray glanced down only out of curiosity for this comment and found three little scratches on his stomach were the source of both her concern and the mild stinging from her caresses. He made no comment on them as he looked back up and, honestly, he pretty much forgot about them the moment they were out of his sight because he found her eyes waiting still and everything else just sort of fell away. And he felt warmth swell in his chest, a deep and profound thing he didn’t have the guts to voice, as he studied her.

Was he, he wondered with everything now over, still allowed to touch her?

He tested this out, lifted a hand slowly to cup her jaw, threading his fingers back into her damp scarlet hair and Erza blinked a languid blink as she leaned into his hand. Her fingertips grazed up along the back of his hand before she settled hers overtop his, fingers slipping between his own, and Gray let her curl her fingers between his and into his palm.

Was he still allowed to kiss her?

He wanted to and, slowly, he leaned in. Despite everything that’d just happened, part of him had expected her to pull away, but she didn’t. He pressed his lips to hers and his heart gave a solid thrum when Erza leaned into him just a little, not only accepting the kiss but returning it.

And, hells, Gray was so far gone and he didn’t even care that he was being a total sap.

He’d expected it would happen only the once, but barely fifteen minutes later Erza shifted up towards the center of the bed and pulled him along after her and then on top of her. He hadn’t been about to protest as she’d urged him at length, through reaction moreso than words, to take her just as hard and fast as she’d taken him minutes before. When Erza came undone that time, she left more scratches on him, these ones on his back and Gray found himself wondering if she would do this often. He wondered if he would find out, but he dared not to hope.

He was surprised one final time when Erza woke him by settling over him once again sometime in the early morning, before the rising sun had even started to tinge the sky purple. She leaned forward and bent low enough to kiss him as she moved against him, the skin of her stomach sliding along his own as her breasts were pressed rhythmically into his chest. She kept her pace slow that time and Gray took the opportunity to memorize what he could of her as she pulled up and forward and then pushed down and back to take him in, sliding down almost the entire length of his cock with each languid stroke.

He didn’t know what would happen later, if this was a one-night-and-done kind of fling or if it was something Erza would be willing to revisit. But, whatever the case, no one would be able to take from him the memory of that moment, of being pulled deep and pushing deeper and eventually of coming undone with her wrapped around him as she imparted on him one final kiss. Gods, he hoped she wanted more than just that one night… But, Gray was now worried that, because he knew what this felt like, he would never be able to get enough before it ended, whenever that end may be. An eternity, he mused, might not be long enough.

He wondered if he’d just damned himself to a life not where he wouldn’t know what he was missing out on… but one of knowing exactly what he would be missing out on.


	5. Brevity in Spades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erza and Gray share a much needed conversation, but much less is said than it needs to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5: Rated M. I’m just airing on the side of caution with this because there’s no explicit content here.
> 
> Hello, all. Here be the end of Part 1. I haven’t decided as to whether I’ll post the next two parts as separate stories or just add them here. If I do end up creating a new story for each, I’ll post links to them at the bottom of this chapter. Part two is nearing completion, but I probably won’t start posting it until all of the chapters are done, and then I’ll just be doing my final read-through’s before I post each chapter, like I did here. Hope you enjoy!

It was the sound of the rain on the window that finally woke him, pulling him from his abnormally deep slumber. Gray didn’t have a clock in his room--time was of little consequence to him because he was usually such a light sleeper that he woke with the sun--but he estimated by the placement of the faded shadows in his room through the gloom outside that it wasn’t quite 8 o’clock yet. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d slept in so late. On a normal day, he was usually at the Guild Hall by now.

It took longer than it should’ve for everything from the previous night and early that morning to came back to him. The rush of memories left him warm-faced and Gray knew it wasn’t a wonder that he’d slept in a little. Of course, when he turned tentatively to glance over at Erza, he realized he was completely alone in bed. In the space where she’d previously been lying, he found nothing but slightly rumpled sheets.

His throat constricted as apprehension and guilt wound tight around his chest and Gray had to sit up, had to drape his feet over the side of his bed so as to turn away from what only served as a reminder of the gravity of his potential screw up. Of course, this only brought face to face with the rest of the room and the knowledge that her clothes were gone from where they had previously been strewn on his floor at the foot of his bed. He hadn’t expected any differently--though perhaps he’d hoped--but the bite of reality was still there.

He wondered how early she’d awoken to ensure she would return to Fairy Hills without his notice.

Gray bowed his head to run his hands roughly through his--admittedly greasy for the previous night’s exertion--dark locks and hoped he hadn’t just ruined one of his oldest friendships. In spite of how he did or had felt in the past, the simple fact remained that he still didn’t know why Erza had initiated any of what had happened the previous night, whether because she was feeling particularly lonely or was just relieved by the end of the war or even if because his interest in her might not be as unrequited as he’d previously believed. He hoped for the latter, but his cynicism and her absence suggested to him the former and he lamented again over why he hadn’t questioned her about it the previous night.

Whatever the case, just sitting there and moping wasn’t solving anything, so Gray stood to start his day. He grabbed some fresh clothes and his wallet from where it had ended up on the floor and stepped out of his room and into his bathroom just outside his bedroom, and there he took a quick shower, removing the grime of dried sweat as he debated with himself over just what it was he should say to Erza when he saw her later that day. Or would she have taken on a mission before he got to the Guild in the hopes of avoiding him? The thought caused another constricting tightness in his chest, so he tried not to dwell on it. At the sink, he brushed his teeth and, a bundle of anxiety, guzzled down several cups of water and felt marginally better for it.

He didn’t bother to put a shirt on as he left the bathroom. He was too likely to strip it if he did so too long from when he’d leave his apartment. It was his living space, after all, and he’d found his infuriating habit occurred with more frequency either when he was somewhere familiar or when he was stressed--and in that moment, both applied. For this reason, he’d also worn one of his belts today, hoping to curb his stripping habit because the last thing he wanted was to end up mostly naked--or entirely naked--in front of Erza with this thing still hanging between them. He’d wait to put a shirt on until he’d had something to eat, and maybe it would at least make it as far as the Guild Hall, though he didn’t have high hopes in that regard.

As he descended his narrow staircase, Gray was drying his hair with a towel he’d draped around his neck, and he took the first right before the entryway to enter his small kitchen. And then he went completely still, his hand pausing in their ruffling of the towel through his hair, because Erza was sitting at his kitchen table, her legs crossed casually at the knee and a newspaper, he wasn’t sure where from, open in her hands.

Her sudden appearance was such a shock to him that he found he’d forgotten to breathe for a moment. Then Gray’s neck and ears warmed because, while she was wearing a pair of pyjama bottoms he thought he’d seen her wear before, the usual top had been replaced with one of his own button-up shirts. The vibrant lavender of the bottoms was in stark contrast with the dull, faded white of his shirt, and the ice mage found it in himself to wonder why she’d bothered to wear it when she could easily enough requip into something else--such as whatever matched those bottoms.

It was a moment before Erza finally seemed to take notice of his presence because she looked up from whatever news article she’d been reading and turned. It seem like she’d meant for it to be a brief glance to investigate what he was doing--because surely she’d heard his approach--but when her eyes met his staring pair she too went still. A thick silence fell as the two simply stared at one another for several moments and Gray was surprised for a second time to note the faint coloring of her cheeks, a sign of what he thought might be embarrassment over being caught doing something. He wasn’t quite sure what that something was, to be honest, because he was too busy trying to control his body’s rising temperature through the use of consciously even breathing.

“Hey,” he found himself saying a moment later, feeling for the great effort as though he’d said rather more than just the one syllable.

“...Hey,” Erza returned in an equally loaded fashion that took his breath away a little with its soft, musical tones.

When he finally uprooted himself from his place in the doorway to step into the kitchen proper, she set her paper on the table and shifted to sit up straighter.

“I thought you’d left,” he said as he sat across from her, and the words came out as a strange amalgamation of both a statement and a question.

Erza looked down at her hand on the table and rubbed her fingers together, apparently just as nervous as he felt.

“No, I was just… waiting.”

That thick silence drifted between them again, awkward and imposing as neither was entirely sure what to say next. Eventually, the pressure built too much, and Gray found himself speaking again.

Of course, all he managed was an entirely unhelpful, “So…” and he loathed his brain for going completely vacant the instant she lifted her eyes to meet his again.

Although, when Erza only seemed able to offer an equally unsure, “So…” in turn, he felt marginally less foolish.

Then he told himself that this was utterly ridiculous, that beating around the bush wouldn’t solve anything for them. After thinking she’d already left earlier that morning, he’d come to terms with the fact that he would at least have the time to collect his thoughts into something hopefully somewhat coherent. As that was no longer an option so long as he didn’t want to be incredibly rude in either staring further, asking her to leave, or just walking out himself, he opted to ask the question that was bothering him the most. He glanced down and shifted in his seat.

“Do you…” he began, but when he looked back up at Erza, he found himself hesitating as he met her eyes once more. He had to clear his throat before he continued, finding that he both anticipated and dreaded what her answer might be. “Do you... regret anything?”

Her eyes softened just a little, and Gray hadn’t realized how tense his shoulders had been until seeing this made them relax a bit.

“No,” she said just as softly, and then she averted her eyes again as that faint rosey color returned to her cheeks. She glanced back up from behind a partially drawn curtain of scarlet hair that was mostly obscured her magical eye from him, a habit from her childhood, he thought. “Of course, I was the one who started it all, so I should probably be the one asking… Do you?” She shifted in her seat in the same nervous fashion he had and added an entirely unnecessary, “Regret what happened?”

She sounded and looked so apprehensive that Gray briefly had to remind himself that this was the same woman he’d seen defeat a hundred monsters at the Games. He also almost felt a little like laughing because the answer to her question was so unbelievably obvious to him.

“Not even a little.”

She relaxed the moment he said it, lifting her chin to look at him more fully, and only when she gave him a little smile did he realize he was doing the same, a previously subconscious pull of his lips which he didn’t fight when he noticed it.

Because it would seem he hadn’t ruined their friendship after all.

Erza stood then and turned to step up to the kitchen counter behind her chair.

“I’ve prepared coffee,” she said, somehow managing to sound both professional and extremely casual at the same time, and this baffled him.

Gray didn’t know how he hadn’t smelled it before, but now that he knew it was there, the powerful fragrance of that coffee sort of smacked him in the face, calling him an unobservant dumbass--he most certainly hadn’t made it, so she  _ must’ve  _ still been in his apartment. Erza reached up into the hanging cupboard above for a mug, clearly having already found the cabinet he kept them in during her time, as she put it, waiting.

He was never opposed to a bracing cup of coffee in the morning. Of course, that was hardly the first thing on his mind.

“You’re wearing my shirt.”

This was also said more like a question, and Gray almost slapped himself for phrasing it in such an uncouth manner. But, he was honestly so fixated on this fact and so curious about it that he didn’t hasten to take the questioning statement back. Erza turned to look at him over her shoulder, and the sultry little half-smile she game him affected him in all the ways he was sure she intended for it to.

“I am.”

And then she turned back to her task, setting two mugs on the counter. Rather than focus on something that would only get him hot under the proverbial collar, proverbial because he still wasn’t wearing a shirt, Gray turned his attention back to the matter at hand.

“So, was this-”

But, then the collar of his shirt slipped a little down Erza’s shoulder as she lifted the coffee pot to pour coffee into those two mugs, and his words fell flat as he found himself staring at an expanse of thusly exposed alabaster skin. His mind chose to latch onto the knowledge that he saw no bra strap, and he felt the sudden need to swallow--had he always produced this much saliva? Although she didn’t turn to look at him, he just barely saw it when Erza smirked a little and he knew she was aware of why he’d stopped speaking so suddenly. He cleared his throat and looked at the rain out the window beside his tiny kitchen table to keep himself from being distracted further.

“Was this a one time thing?”

Of course it was and Gray felt the need to apologize for being such an ass in hoping she might consider otherwise. For whatever he’d done to make her pity him so much that she’d felt obligated to shag him. He already knew he wasn’t the guy for her. Jellal was out there somewhere and-

Movement out of the corner of his eye drew his grim attention, and Gray turned to find Erza was standing right beside his chair, already in the process of lowering herself into his lap. He went utterly still, stunned by this turn of events, as she set two full mugs of coffee on the table and settled herself on his thighs. When she turned to him, the confidence of Erza’s evocative smile was somewhat belied by a subtle hint of hesitation in her eyes.

“I hope not.”

Gray realized that with that statement she was asking him the same thing he’d just asked her and he paused to fully comprehend what this meant, that not only did she regret nothing, but that she’d apparently hoped the previous night would initiate  _ something _ between them. He was floored, frozen in awe for several beats. He didn’t know what that something was or how long it would last, but, honestly, he was willing to take as much as she was willing to offer him for as long as she would. He was willing to be a consolation prize for her until she was able to go after what--who--she really wanted. And maybe someday he’d fall for a girl who wasn’t in love with another guy, but… Well, that didn’t mean they had to be alone in the interim. And perhaps it was better because they were friends. Friends now, apparently, with benefits.

He resolved in that moment to give it his all for as long as this ‘something’ between them would last.

Eventually, Gray’s answer to Erza’s statement-question was to slip one hand around to the small of her back while the other fell on her farthest knee, and he pulled her a little closer. Her hesitation slipped away, and she drew one hand slowly up his bare chest to his collarbone as she slipped her other arm around his neck to press herself against him- And, Gods, he’d wanted to be this close to her for so long…

Her closeness, the way her breast pressed into his chest, coupled with how the collar of his shirt slipped a little down her shoulder again, resulted in certain physical stimuli from Gray that he knew she had to take notice of, what with her sitting on him and all. Erza smirked and got this humored glint in her eyes that said this was was by design, and he felt the challenge that’d just been issued. She drew in closer still and pulled her arm from around his neck to slide it under his arm. Dragging her fingernails down the small of his back, she slipped two fingers through the back belt loop of his slacks, her thumb and forefinger resting on the small of his back just above his waistband. Gray must’ve reacted outwardly to her choice of hand placement because that humorous glint in Erza’s eyes turned a little mischievous.

“You won’t be getting this back,” she practically purred, and Gray knew somewhere in the back of his mind that she was talking about his shirt when she added, “I’ve already added it to my equipment.”

He grinned.

“I’m all broken up inside,” he heard himself say, and he was glad his mouth could speak without direction from his brain when Erza’s response was to smile with a breathy little laugh.

“I can tell.”

And then she closed the distance between them to press her lips to his. Lips parted but a little, she moved slowly at first, just wading into the shallows and encouraging him to follow her lead, but the kiss gradually deepened and Gray felt her thumb start to draw languid circles over the spine of his lower back, grazing the skin just enough with her nail for the motion to send a little shiver up along his spine. He felt her smile against his lips and his retribution was to remove his hand from her knee and slip it under what was apparently now her shirt. He ran it over the toned expanse of her back, drawing his dull fingernails across the smooth skin there and noting for his uninterrupted path that she in fact wasn’t wearing a bra--damn, that was hot and he felt himself rousing accordingly. Erza breathed in more deeply through her nose as the muscles of her back coiled, and the ice mage wondered for a moment as he had the previous night if this was actually because his hands were cold. But, then she was kissing him so fiercely that he forgot to ponder further on the matter.

This all came to a halt when her hand that was on his collarbone slid up into his hair a moment later. Gray felt Erza shake with laughter and he had to part from her because he was just so curious about this sudden bout of mirth. He found her smiling and she was still laughing a little, and he quirked a single eyebrow to express his intrigue.

“You’re hair is wet,” was all Erza said, and Gray almost laughed at the absurdity of it.

“Yeah, you surprised me while I was-” She was still laughing, and he drew up short. “What’s so funny?” he asked, wanting in on this joke that had her so jovial because he’d really like to be in on what had her so amused.

She just shook her head and dipped her head low to rest her brow against his shoulder as her laughter continued to jostle her.

“I honestly don’t know,” she said with a giggle of a laugh which somehow managed to sound both like her and not at the same time--perhaps just a new part of her that he was experiencing, Gray thought. “It just is.” And he grinned because, it may not make sense even to her, but he couldn’t  _ not _ be amused when she was laughing like that, an infectious humor which he joined in on regardless of its absurdity.

A moment later Erza sucked in a calming breath and straightened, stifling any further laughter, and she took the towel from around his neck. Gray didn’t bother wiping the grin from his face and didn’t think he could manage it if he tried with how she was smiling still.

Damn, she was beautiful when she smiled.

“Here, let me. I  _ am _ the one who interrupted you before, so it’s the least I can do,” she said.

Gray was about to protest, to say the task was simple enough and didn’t require her assistance, but Erza already had the towel over his head. She was less harsh about it than he ever was and he resigned himself to her will as she, with both hands, tamely ruffled his hair with the towel to dry it. When she was apparently satisfied with her work, she discarded the towel on the table behind her--folded neatly, of course--next to their coffee that was and would remain untouched and then she began to run her fingers through his hair. Gray felt her fingernails graze along his scalp, and he shuddered involuntarily as the sensitive nerves came alive and sent little jolts of electricity down his spine.

Erza laughed a small, breathy laugh as the action from him jostled her a little, and Gray apologized--although even he wasn’t sure why since it had been involuntary. Then she resumed running her fingers through his hair, slow and deliberate, and before Gray knew it, his eyelids had closed of their own accord as he was lulled into an odd state of nonentity, just himself and the gentle grazing of her fingertips across his scalp.

“This is why girls like to have their hair brushed,” Erza mused softly with humor in her voice, and Gray felt himself smile.

“You can brush my hair anytime.”

He didn’t even care that he’d basically just called himself a girl on accident because he’d never been quite so relaxed before. When, after another few moments, the pass of Erza’s fingers through his hair ended with her hands slipping down his neck to rest on his shoulders, Gray knew she’d accomplished whatever it was she’d set out to do, and he at last opened his eyes again. She was smirking in something akin to amusement, her face fairly close to his own, and a warmth of affection filled his chest.

“Better?” she asked.

He ‘hmm’d in approval and said, “Loads.”

Erza smiled, her eyes half-lidded as she leaned in closer. “Good,” she purred  and gave him a brief peck on the lips. “Now, where were we?”

And then she was kissing him again, her hands apparently free now to roam through his dryer hair--it wasn’t quite all the way there, but there was only so much a towel could do. The kiss deepened again quickly enough, taking on a more carnal nature as Erza rose and lifted one leg across to straddle his lap. Her back arched as he drew a hand up along her spine again, and this pressed her generous breasts more firmly against his chest as she gripped the sides of his chair to pull herself tightly to him, the hard, plastic buttons of Gray’s pilfered shirt in great contrast with the soft body he could feel beneath the fabric. He doubted he would ever tire of the feeling of her pressed against him like that.

They never did make it upstairs and Erza never removed the shirt which was once his and was now hers.

Gray had been nearly tempted to just take the day, their possibly noted dual absence from the Guild be damned. This had nothing to do with the gloom outside and everything to do with the face that he really just wanted to spend the day with Erza alone. But, he lost the nerve to ask her to stay, unsure just what sort of time she’d be willing to spend with him in this new arrangement. Aside from that month they’d roomed together, they’d never really spent prolonged periods of time together outside of Guild business, and he feared she might grow bored with him because he didn’t generally get up to much.

And so, in the months to come, it wasn’t often that Gray would seek her out, mostly just accepting whatever time she seemed willing to give him. To his surprise, she would spend more time with him than not. Through it all, he didn’t even consider that Erza’s perspective on the situation might be very different. He didn’t consider that she might view this ‘something’ as the relationship he’d not even dared to hope it was.

She never did say it outloud. Then again, neither did he.


End file.
